


we could just kiss (like real people do)

by InTheName



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Divorced Lesbian Moms, F/F, non-magical AU within canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-03 02:04:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 38,591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15809106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTheName/pseuds/InTheName
Summary: When Pan's curse came rolling in, Regina joined Emma and Henry in NYC. Now, they must navigate their new life (and fake memories) to make this family work for them. But will it still fit when reality comes knocking?“‘Emma,’ Regina greeted, a note of surprise in her voice.‘Uh, hi.’ Emma said. ‘Henry left his sweater at my place. It’s supposed to be chilly tomorrow, I thought he might want it…’ Emma’s eyes remained fixed at the space over Regina’s right shoulder.‘Henry has sweaters here, dear.’ Regina said, not unkindly. She took the bag from Emma regardless.‘Right.’ Emma said, shaking her head. ‘Of course he does. I just…’ Emma didn’t make to finish her sentence. She met Regina’s gaze. Regina felt her expression soften.‘I just never thought we’d be here, I guess.’ Emma said, her voice as small as she looked.“





	1. you’re up, rookie (he’ll never know you weren’t there)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [swantomyqueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/swantomyqueen/gifts).
  * Inspired by [we could just kiss (like real people do)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15818730) by [swantomyqueen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/swantomyqueen/pseuds/swantomyqueen). 



> Big thank you to [theforgottenpromises](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theforgottenpromises) who helped me hash out my idea, called me on my timelines and definitely foresaw this becoming the 38k monster that it is. Another thank you to my sister who helped me edit, even though she won't see this so I'll just have to thank her in person anyway.
> 
> This was my first ever Supernova and this was so much fun, I met so many great swen authors and artists and this wild ride has been worth every writing frenzy and moment of self-doubt (especially as the deadline approached). Thank you mods for being so amazing, putting this wonderful event together.
> 
> Title from "Like Real People Do" by Hozier

_Sobs filtered through the fog surrounding her. A grief-filled scream reverberated off storefront glass._

_“No!”_

_A woman fell to the ground. An intake of breath broke the eerie silence._

_“Regina.” She cried._

_Her head swirled with “You have to go” and “Happy endings aren’t always what you think they will be”_

_Trees flanked the street where buildings had been a moment ago. A yellow line disappeared in the rear-view mirror. Brown hair in her peripheral vision caught her eye._

_“We’re going to be okay.”_

***

A sharp cry pierced the air. An electronic, monotonous wail that filled the room.

Emma blinked open bleary eyes. She felt a weight pressing down on her chest, the tightening of her throat. It took a moment to shake off the remnants of her dream and adjust to her current surroundings. She was still in her bedroom, light trickling in between the blinds on the bay window that faced the cityscape. Yesterday’s clothes were still scattered haphazardly on the chair she’d sworn she’d use for reading when she purchased the overpriced, over-stuffed piece of furniture. Her alarm clock was still atop her bedside table, blinking a time that was too early for how sunny it was. 

Shit.

The power must have gone out last night. Emma swung her legs out of bed, feet hitting the cold floor and instantly recoiling. She reached for her plugged in but hardly charged phone with one hand and the other reached for her slippers. They had a Tardis design, a gift from Henry who didn’t quite understand that her favourite part of Doctor Who was watching it with him. But it was sweet, even if they were a little goofy. 

She looked at the time displayed on her phone.

7:54am.

Shit.

It looked like it was going to be a granola bar for breakfast kind of morning. Emma sighed and rose from her bed, officially awake. 

“Henry!” Emma called as she wrapped her terrycloth robe around her. She started for his room down the hall, on the other side of their shared bathroom.

“Henry, tell me your phone alarm woke you up this morning.” Henry was going to be late for school otherwise. Emma reached his room and opened the door to find Henry at his desk, dressed in his school uniform and reading something on his computer. Probably researching the vegetation of the Mesozoic era or the principles of quantum mechanics. She didn’t question his interests and how he spent his free time and in exchange he didn’t comment when they ordered in dinner more often than having a home-cooked meal. It was a comfortable symbiosis they’d reached.

“Of course mom,” Henry answered with a small frown. “Why would I leave my morning routine at the mercy of an unreliable power source?”

“Of course,” Emma said, exhaling a sigh of relief. “Because that would be irresponsible.”

Henry gave her a knowing look. Emma just gave a small smile in response. 

“Have you had breakfast?” Emma asked.

Henry just pointed to the empty cereal bowl beside him.

“Okay, I expect that rinsed and in the sink before we head out.” Emma said, as if she wasn’t standing in her pyjamas with bead-head and a growling stomach. “You good to head out in 5?”

“Calling it close, Ma.” Henry warned.

“It’ll be fine!” Emma called, already halfway to her room. 

Two hasty outfit changes, one teeth brushing session that definitely did not last the length of the ABC’s song, and one snatched granola bar later, Emma and Henry were in the elevator down from their apartment and on their way to Henry’s school. Emma internally praised whoever was looking down on them when they’d moved to the city and found an apartment just a 10 minute walk from Henry’s school. 

“Okay kid,” Emma said. “You know the drill. Pay attention in class, respect your teachers, don’t start any fights you can’t finish, and eat your veggies in your lunch before the dessert. Oh god, your lunch!” 

Emma’s eyes widened in a small scale panic when she remembered she hadn’t packed his lunch for the day.

“Yeah mom, I’ll be sure to eat my sandwich and carrots before my double chocolate brownie.” Henry said. At Emma’s confused glance, Henry continued. “I noticed you weren’t in the kitchen at 7:00am so I took the liberty.”

Emma could kiss him. And she did. Right on the forehead in front of his school while Henry squirmed away in embarrassment.

“You’re the best, kid.” Emma said. “Have a good day!”

“Yeah, Ma. I will.” Henry muttered as he walked toward the entrance with a blush covering his cheeks. He turned back around just before Emma continued on her way to work. “And don’t forget about tonight!”

“I won’t, kid.” Emma said with a wave. She tamed the grin on her face from downright goofy to acceptably proud parent. 

Her phone buzzed and her smile was wiped from her face when she saw the caller ID.

“Yeah, boss?” Emma answered.

“Swan, I need you in now.”

“I’m on my way. Not even late, which is a shock, I know!” Emma said. “What is it?”

“We’ve got a double homicide. All hands on deck.”

“Okay, I’ll hurry.” Emma said. The line got cut off. She looked at the screen. Dead. So it would be a good day all around then.

***

“Morning Detective Swan.” 

“Detective Hawthorne.” Emma acknowledged. She dumped her bag onto her chair and turned to face her partner. Lara Hawthorne was maybe five years her senior and had taken Emma under her wing when she joined the division. The woman was no-nonsense with a deadpan humour that sent rookies backing slowly out of the room. She didn’t have time for incompetence, but she’d stay late to teach you how to fix your mistakes and get the job done right. She’d been the first person Emma had met in the city. And her first friend.

“No coffee this morning?” Lara asked, amusement sparkling in her pale blue eyes. 

“No time,” Emma answered. “Power went out last night, alarm didn’t go off, barely got the kid to school on time.”

“You need to get with the times and put your alarm on the phone. No power, no problem. We can pick some coffee up on the way to the crime scene.” Lara said, grabbing her keys to the cruiser. “Just don’t tell your green thermos you’re cheating on it.”

“My lips are sealed.” Emma said, smiling at the prospect of caffeine.

They jumped in the car, Lara driving and Emma in the passenger seat. Emma wasn’t allowed to drive. Lara said she’d have to complete her probationary period first, but Emma had been there nearly a year and knew that Lara’s probationary period would last until she was throwing Lara’s retirement party.

“So what’s the case?” Emma asked, doing up her seatbelt as Lara sped out of the parking lot. “Boss said it was a double homicide?”

“Two women, found dead by a maid at the Burnhop Hotel this morning.” Lara answered.

“An affair, perhaps? A jealous ex?” Emma speculated. She plugged her phone into the console and watched as the black screen became a slightly lighter, illuminated black screen.

“You’re getting ahead of yourself, Swan.” Lara said. “We need to go into the crime scene without bias, a blank slate.”

“Yeah, I know.” Emma said, subdued.

“What you need to be figuring out now is your coffee order.” Lara said. “We’ll stop at the Starbucks on the way. Go on the app and punch in our order so we’re in and out. We don’t have time to wait in line.”

“There’s an app for that?” Emma asked, eyebrow raised. Lara rolled her eyes. “Well, my phone’s dead.”

“Have you been prepared a day in your life?” Lara asked. 

“Power went out, must have busted my charger.” Emma said, crossing her arms and staring straight out the window. “Did yours go out last night?”

“Not for a second.” Lara said.

“Huh, guess it was just my block?” Emma muttered.

“Or your electricity got cut off because you forgot to pay your bills again.” Lara scoffed. Her eyes were soft around the edges, easing the blow.

“That was one time!” Emma protested. She grabbed Lara’s phone, noting the background photo of Lara with her hair down, loose, dark curls falling to her shoulders, and her arm around a short, red-haired woman with a pixie cut and a bright smile. “How’s Eileen doing? I’m ordering the coffee, what are you taking?”

“Eileen is good. Venti caramel macchiato with almond milk.” Lara rattled off, taking a hard right and sending Emma into the door.

“Jesus, can you take it easy? I’d like to arrive to the crime scene alive, preferably in one piece. Also, gross. How can you drink that garbage?” Emma said into the phone, typing in the order. 

“Coffee is meant to be enjoyed, Swan.” Lara answered. “Not all of us have to choke down instant coffee to start our mornings.”

“Hey, private school doesn’t pay for itself.” Emma said.

“The hefty price you pay for marginally smaller class sizes and more homework.” Lara scoffed. 

“Don’t remind me,” Emma said bitterly. She checked her phone, which was finally coming back to life. She had a missed text. _Don’t forget about tonight._ Emma let out an exasperated sigh.

“We’re here. You’re up, Rookie.” Lara said, putting the car in park and giving her a look. 

***

“Don’t you have somewhere to be, Swan?”

“Ah, shit.” Emma said, looking up from her paperwork. “You’re right.”

“Better pack up and get moving.” Lara said from her desk. 

Emma rushed out the door of the precinct and made her way to the bus stop. Where the bus was just pulling away. Great. She mentally kicked herself for not checking the bus schedule before taking off at a run toward Henry’s school. Emma didn’t have a gym membership or attend any of those trendy exercise classes. Between being chronically five minutes late for everything and perpetual bad luck with transit, Emma kept fit by running most places she needed to be. Well, that and chasing suspects who thought they were faster than her. They usually weren’t.

Emma arrived at the school just five minutes late. Okay, seven minutes late but really, who was counting? 

She opened the double doors to the auditorium where the meeting was being held. The Chair of the meeting stopped mid-speech to glare at her. Apparently, she was counting. With dark brown hair cut severely at the shoulders and dark red lips, she was an intimidating figure. Emma gave a small wave, her shoulders shrugging with the motion, before finding a seat at the back of the room.

“Now, as I was saying…” 

Emma quickly tuned out the announcements. Really, she only came to these to show support for Henry. Not that he was here, but there was an after-school program for the kids on the nights of PTA meetings and it was basically their only time to goof off together. Between the ridiculously packed extra-curricular schedules, play dates among the kids were an oddity. So Emma came to the meetings and they’d have a nice family dinner at the local diner, all together, and then head home. Or well, they used to.

“At this time, I’ll open the floor up to questions.”

Emma perked right up in her seat. This was her favourite part of the meetings. The only thing that made them bearable. She just wished she had thought to bring popcorn.

“Hi, I’m Annalise, Mary-Beth’s mom. I’m concerned about the upcoming bake sale for the soccer team? I really don’t think it’s an effective use of the children’s time and talents. We aren’t paying these hefty tuition fees for our kids to learn Home Ec., right? And don’t get me started on the gluten content!” A woman vaguely reminiscent of a Q-tip with her slim frame and bob haircut, asked with wide, blue eyes. Emma couldn’t hold back a snicker. That earned her a chastising look from the Chair. But Emma just quirked her brow in response. The amusement that sparkled faintly in the brown eyes of the woman staring her down was enough for Emma to know she wasn’t the only one. 

“I hear your concern,” The Chair replied. “I’ll bring up a restriction on time spent toward the bake sale and revise the recipe list with the council.”

And so it went, for an hour. About 55 minutes longer than it should have taken to field these trivial requests. These parents fought tooth and nail to protect their children from BPA and processed sugar while Emma struggled to protect Henry from… from… 

Emma wrinkled her nose, trying to remember her train of thought but came up empty. It must have been the dull monotone of a particularly nasal mother voicing her concern over the no-contact football team. Emma could feel herself dozing off, seeing images from the day’s crime scene flash behind her eyelids interspersed with memories of a life passed. 

***

_A beautiful baby boy lay crying in her arms. She tried rocking him with stiff, jerky movements. God, she doesn’t know how to do this. She doesn’t know how to hold, how to give the physical comfort she’d always been denied._

_“I can’t do this. He hates me already and I don’t know what… I don’t…” Emma said with wild eyes._

_“No one does, not at first.” Warm brown eyes watched the red-faced baby trying to scream all the air out of his lungs._

_“You love him.”_

_The warm gaze redirected toward her. God she didn’t deserve this… this fondness. There was pity in that look too, and hidden deep in the depths of brown eyes, a trepidation. A hesitation. Maybe she deserved that one._

_“He’ll never know you weren’t there.”_

***

“Miss Swan.” 

Emma was startled awake, nearly falling back in her chair. She looked around, noticing the room was filing out, save for a few stragglers who were glancing over. Can’t leave a PTA meeting without some sort of scandal to fuel the gossip mill for the week. Emma rolled her eyes.

The Chair of the PTA was staring down at her, waiting. This close, Emma could see the small scar, barely noticeable to those who weren’t intimately familiar with those lips. 

“Don’t ‘Miss Swan’ me.” Emma snapped. She felt the weight of eight years press down on her and the fire to fight against it. “We’ve been through too much, Regina.”

Regina flinched and set her jaw. 

“Emma,” she amended. “Coming late to the meeting only to sleep through it? Why bother showing up at all?”

“You know why,” Emma said. She felt like a guest in this gymnasium. She felt like she’d prefer getting her teeth pulled out at the dentist. “I’m here for Henry.”

“Well, it’s my night with Henry, so you really didn’t need to…” Regina trailed off. She looked away. The silence felt heavy, sluggish between them.

“Mom! Ma!”

Both women turned to face Henry as he came into auditorium, their relief evident on their faces.

“Ma, are you joining us for dinner?” Henry asked as soon as he got closer. 

Emma looked back at Regina. The woman had pressed her lips together, ever so slightly, and her hands were clasped stiffly in front of her. 

“Nah, kid.” Emma answered, running a hand through his hair. “Not tonight.”

Regina exhaled, the tension visibly lessening. 

“You be good for your mom though.” Emma added. She grasped at one last attempt at civility. “Hey, did your power go out last night?”

“Um, no.” Regina answered, confused. 

“Weird, I guess it was just my place.” Emma said with a shrug.

“Are you sure you didn’t just forget to pay your electricity bill?” Regina asked, raising an eyebrow. 

“That was one time!” Emma said, exasperated. She glanced quickly at Henry to judge his reaction. He didn’t seem fazed but she hated the implication that she was irresponsible in front of him. She looked back at Regina’s carefully neutral expression and held back the retort she’d been itching to throw. “You know what, never mind. You two have a good evening.”

With that Emma gave Henry a hug and left the building feeling like that conversation had aged her five years.


	2. the routine, I’ve mastered (we’ll become entwined in broken trust)

_“Miss Swan.” Regina greeted coldly as she entered the grey room. She pretended to be busy reading from the file in front of her, but she saw the widening of Emma’s green eyes, the slight pull of the handcuffs against the table as her fight or flight instincts kicked in. Which option she was intending to pursue was difficult to say. “If that’s even your real name.”_

_Emma sighed, pulling a neutral expression together across her face with a roll of the eyes._

_“Of course that’s my real name, Regina.” Emma muttered. She avoided eye contact, speaking more to her hands that now lay limply against the table than to Regina._

_Regina just narrowed her eyes, nearly imperceptibly, and took the seat across from Emma. She laid her files on the table, but didn’t open them. The context of the situation seemed to hit Emma with the force of a speeding truck the moment Regina’s pantsuit-clad ass touched the cold, metal seat._

_“What are you doing here?” Emma blurted. “Are you visiting? Am I even allowed visitors? How did you know I was, that I was here?”_

_“I’m your court-appointed lawyer, Miss Swan.” Regina said. Her skin felt like it was both shivering and burning at once, her throat threatened to close up and her stomach had bottomed out. But on the outside she maintained an air of professionalism, not even a hint of wavering in her voice. “I will be handling your case.”_

_At Emma’s stunned expression, Regina flipped open the top file. She paused a moment, giving the blonde time to process. She herself had needed to register the situation when she’d read the name of her new defendant. She’d shut the door right in her paralegal’s face. He was used to her abrupt cut offs in conversations, her aloof demeanor, her inability to settle for anything less than perfection. So when he met with the door an inch from his nose mid-sentence, he’d just walked away as if nothing were out of the ordinary._

_“So, you were caught stealing watches…” Regina said once Emma’s gaze showed no sign of returning to this planet. At her voice, her green eyes focused once more._

_“I was caught retrieving stolen watches.” Emma grumbled. She folded her arms across her chest and leaned back in her seat. “There’s a difference.”_

_“Yes, there is.” Regina agreed. “One is accessory after the fact. You have a court date set up for next week. It’s your bail hearing, so we just have to show you aren’t a flight risk. We won’t be able to play the family angle, but do you have ties to a community, job or friends?”_

_“A son.” Emma said softly. The words reverberated off the grey walls, getting louder with every bounce before they reached her ears. “My son, he’s all I have. I’m all he has.”_

_“The father?” Regina probed._

_“He’s the one who got me to take the fall for the watches.” Emma said, looking at the sole window as if it could tell her how in the hell she’d gotten here. A single tear fell down her cheek. “They haven’t found him. Said he just took off. God, what’s going to happen to Henry?”_

_“I imagine Child Services will have been called.” Regina stated. Emma turned sharply at her words. Regina moved her hand forward slightly, before she remembered her mask of professionalism and shuffled the papers before her into a tidy pile._

_“I fought so hard to keep Henry from my childhood.” Emma whispered, not bothering to try to ebb the tears that were falling. She hadn’t been this exposed, this vulnerable when they’d first met. It felt like a lifetime ago. “I never wanted him to grow up the way I did. It was one last job, just tying up loose ends. God, I can’t believe I was so stupid.”_

_This time, Regina didn’t hold herself back. She placed her hand over Emma’s and kept it firmly in place._

_“I’ll look into it.” Regina said. Emma just nodded. Regina removed her hand and closed her file. She was almost at the door when she turned to look over her shoulder, unable to resist one last glance. “Take care, Miss Swan. I’ll see you next week.”_

_Regina left the interview room and went straight to the officers on Emma’s case._

_“Where’s her son?” Regina asked._

_“Picked him up from daycare just a few minutes ago. Someone from Child Services is on their way, though that could mean hours. Not enough hours in the day for those folks.” A burly man in his late forties answered. He had kind eyes, but they’d seen a lot in his twenty-odd years on the job. His hair had prematurely greyed. Beyond him, a small child with a mop of brown hair and a storybook larger than he was, sat on a detective’s chair, face apprehensive. He couldn’t have been more than 3 years old._

_Regina’s legs propelled her forward without a conscious decision. She crouched before the scared kid._

_“Hi Henry, my name’s Regina.” She smiled softly._

_“Where’s my mom?” He asked, his lower lip beginning to tremble._

_“Your mom has to go away for a little bit. She wanted me to tell you that she loves you so, so much.” Regina reached out and wiped away a tear that had started to fall from the young boy’s hazel eyes._

_She took one look at the wobbling chin that looked so much like Emma’s the day she’d left, and she knew she wasn’t leaving this little boy._

***

Regina woke up in a sweat. Not unusual for her, recently. She looked over at the clock on her bedside table and groaned. 

5:47am.

Not late enough to get up and start her day, but not enough time to go back to sleep either. If she tried now, she’d end up feeling like she’d been awoken by a transport truck when her alarm started rattling off the morning news at 6:30am. 

With a sigh, she rolled away from the offensive clock and threw back the covers. She placed her feet on the cold ground, her arms bracing against the bed and her head down. She sighed, trying to shake off the memories she’d been taunted with all night. It had been a restless sleep, full of ghosts of what her life had been and no longer was. Another deep breath and she was up. 

She scoured the floor of the bedroom, looking for discarded articles of clothing that hadn’t made it to the laundry hamper last night. Of course there weren’t any. She hadn’t tossed her clothes on the floor since she was twelve, and she’d payed dearly for that one. 

Shaking off the old habit like skin off her nose, she grabbed her robe and tied it around her waist. She left her bedroom and walked to the kitchen. Her coffee maker was programmed to match her alarm, so she fiddled with the settings until she overrode the command. She may have woken up naturally, but she’d be needing some unnatural assistance to get her through the upcoming day. 

While the coffee was brewing, Regina opened the fridge. Both Henry’s and her lunches were packaged in Tupperware and ready to be placed in the practical lunch bags she’d bought at Costco last year. She grabbed the low-fat, plain Greek yogurt and the blueberries from the fridge. One bowl, some granola and a handful of almond slices later, her coffee was ready. 

Regina walked to the door, opening it to grab the morning paper before returning to her breakfast. It wasn’t every day she was able to take the time to do more than skim headlines with her morning coffee. It was nice, calm. The building was quiet and if she closed her eyes she could imagine they were back in Boston. But she’d take the extra 45 minutes of sleep over this morning ritual any day. 

When Henry trotted into the kitchen, wiping sleep from his eyes, Regina was showered and dressed for work, making scrambled eggs and toast. 

“What’s the occasion, mom?” Henry asked, the sleep not gone from his voice. Or perhaps his voice was beginning to drop. Regina immediately dismissed that thought. He was still her baby boy, he wasn’t growing up so fast. She wouldn’t stand for it.

“No occasion, dear.” Regina answered. “I was just up early.”

“Hmm.” Henry hummed, gladly accepting the breakfast, not quite awake enough to be skeptical. 

“Did you finish your presentation?” Regina asked.

“It’s not for another week, mom.” Henry grumbled into his toast.

“When you get up in front of the class to teach a group of twelve year-olds about the Civil War and they realize you’re not talking about Captain America, you’re going to be thanking me for making you remember all your points by heart.” Regina said, matter-of-factly. “Now stop dragging your feet, I have to drop you off early today.”

***

Regina walked into work that morning with a low-fat latte from the high-class coffee shop on the corner. She’d tried those hipster cafés that only served americanos and gluten-free lettuce wraps, but if she was going to be dropping five dollars on a coffee she expected her watered-down espresso to be damn good. And she certainly wasn’t going to start her day being anything less than fully caffeinated, and that meant being two coffees deep. 

Regina looked around as she walked down the hall. The floor was quiet; the hum of the florescent lights was the only thing keeping the sound of her heels on hardwood floor company. Office doors were closed, no light emerging from below them. 

Regina unlocked her office, flicking the switch and hanging up her purse on the coat tree in the corner. She opened the blinds and took a sip of her latte. A small smile graced her features. This was the moment she worked so hard for. For this view of the city from the 35th floor as the sun was still low along the horizon.

She allowed herself only a moment before turning around and waking up her computer that never quite shut down. She opened an email from one of her coworkers.

_Regina,_

_I scheduled a meeting with our client, Mr. Johnson, for this afternoon. 3:00pm at his residence._

_Regards,_

_Kristen_

Regina let out a sigh and penciled it in. That was one of the downsides of working at a prestigious law firm with the top defense attorneys in the state. House calls. Still, Regina would bill them for the travel time. If they requested her to go to them, they sure as hell were paying for the time taken away from working on someone else’s case, regardless of whether she was the one driving or answering emails in the backseat.

She opened the reports that needed reading, passing time before her first meeting. She only got through a few minutes of work before there was a knock at the door. A knock that was rendered redundant when the visitor immediately opened the door and walked in without waiting for a response. 

“How many times must I remind you that a knock is followed by an invitation to enter?” Regina asked, not looking up from her screen. 

“Oh please,” said a woman with strawberry blonde hair that fell in waves to her shoulders. She was dressed in a smart suit, stylish dress pants that tapered to the ankle and a clean cut, white blouse, but that didn’t stop her from draping herself over the couch that lined the far wall of Regina’s office. It had been intended for decoration, or perhaps the occasional cat nap when her hours exceeded the regular 8am to 6pm, but it was used for Julie’s impromptu visits instead. “Aren’t we past that nonsense, Reg?”

“And how many times must I ask you not to call me that?” Regina glared at her, but her eyes betrayed the amusement she’d been trying to hide.

“But how else am I supposed to get you to look up from your screen?” Julie answered, blinking her eyes innocently. Regina let out a small chuckle. Julie had been among the new lawyers that had been hired in the year Regina joined the firm. The two of them had bonded over grunt work and late nights compiling briefings. Of the fifteen aspiring lawyers hired, they were among the five that survived the probationary period. 

“In all seriousness,” Julie’s face quickly turned into a frown. “We need to sort out how we’re going to take Peterson’s case. I’m not buying his story and neither will a jury.”

That was what Regina liked about Julie. She was bubbly and friendly, but she got down to business and had a strong work ethic. Their working styles were compatible; they did good work together and their supervisors had noticed.

“I agree,” Regina said, folding her hands in front of her and leaning forward. They spit-balled ideas back and forth, throwing out new ideas and dismissing them just as quickly. Mid-thought, Regina glanced at the clock on her computer.

“We have to go.” Regina said abruptly. Julie glanced at her watch.

“Yes Reg, we do.” Julie said. Regina refused to dignify that with a response, she just grabbed her pen and notebook and walked out the door.

They entered the large boardroom before anyone else had arrived. They sat down at the prime seats at the table, halfway down the right side. This spot was by the windows, backlit by the sun and provided the optimal view of all the attendees. Julie and Regina sat in silence, organizing their notes for the upcoming meeting.

Well-dressed men and women began to trickle in, each exchanging the expected pleasantries. Regina partook in them, playing the game well. 

“Harry, how are your children doing? Is Tess still playing soccer?”

“Leanne, you must tell me how that painting class went.”

Murmured answers all stopped once the named partners entered the room. 

“Alright, let’s get to it.” Charles Friedman said to the silent boardroom. “I’m sure this comes as no surprise to hear, that after 25 dedicated years, Marvin Klaus will be retiring. We wish him the best in his retirement and thank him for all the amazing work he’s done for our firm.”

A pause for applause.

“Yes, a great accomplishment indeed.” Charles said, effectively ending the clapping. “As such, we will have a position of partner opening up and we will be seeking to fill it by the end of the month. Marvin’s retirement party will be on Friday at noon. Okay, updates.”

Regina felt frozen in her seat. Sure, she’d heard the rumours but she’d thought Marvin would have worked until the day he died. He must have gotten pushed out. He’d been one of her mentors when she had first joined the firm. And now she would take his spot as partner. There was no question about that, she heard her mother’s voice in her head. Her mother had always made clear her aspirations for her daughter, and made it even clearer when she’d failed to meet them.

***

Regina was in the lobby of an impressive apartment building on the Upper East Side. She sat in a plush chair that was more fashionable than comfortable beside Kristen. They’d just finished the meeting with their client who was on house-arrest awaiting trial. Regina had scoffed at that ruling at the bail hearing. Being restricted to a 4,500 square foot penthouse was hardly a punishment. 

“Well, that was a bust.” Kristen sighed. She’d unbuttoned her cream-coloured blazer, revealing more of her navy blue dress that tugged at her curves and her purse-strings, no doubt. The neckline was just low enough to show a hint of cleavage, just low enough to raise an eyebrow at. 

“On the contrary, dear.” Regina said, making a note in her notebook. “That meeting told us everything we need to know.”

“How do you figure?” Kristen asked, leaning forward in her seat. Her straight, black hair fell against her high cheekbones. “That man was lying through his teeth.”

Mr. Johnson had made his money in oil sands of Alberta, Canada. He ran a business that exerted a large influence on the market. Facing the public, he was a kind and charitable man. When he faced his employees, he was a man used to getting his way. He saw what he wanted and couldn’t fathom why he couldn’t have it, including a not guilty verdict at his upcoming insider trading trial. The man made Regina’s skin crawl. Maybe it was the condescending tone of his voice, the way he didn’t listen to what his female lawyers were telling him and kept lecturing on about what legal strategy he thought they should use. Maybe it was the way his sticky gaze made its way down her body. 

“In my experience,” Regina said slowly. “Powerful men lie to protect one of two things: their money, or their reputation. Mr. Johnson’s assets have been frozen and yet, he’s not worried. He’s a man who has more offshore accounts than he can keep track of. No, it must be reputation. The prosecution says he was at dinner selling insider information to the competition, but I think you’ll find Mr. Johnson was enjoying an evening with a more expensive date.”

“You got that from our meeting?” Kristen asked dubiously, an eyebrow raised.

“That, and from the private investigator’s report.” Regina admitted with a smirk. She took the report out from her briefcase and handed it over. 

“When did this come in? I was just hounding Todd last night about that damn report. When did you have time to read it?” Kristen snatched the report hungrily. 

“This morning, 7:30am. Before the office meeting.” Regina said, a triumphant twinkle in her eye. 

“Damn.” Kristen whispered, whether in response to Regina’s comment or the information on the report before her was hard to say. She flipped the pages to return the report to its former glory. “Come out to drinks tonight.”

“It’s my night with Henry.” Regina said, taking the file back. Kristen’s hand stopped her, landing atop the one that held the report.

“Bring him along! How old is the kid now, anyway? Like, seventeen? I’ll get him a fake, it’ll be fine.” Kristen said.

“Dear god. You are not taking my son out drinking.” Regina let out a humourless laugh. “And he’s far from seventeen. Though, he’s growing up too fast as it is.”

“Next week, then.” Kristen insisted. She made no move to remove her hand.

“I’ll check my schedule.” Regina said. She gently pulled her hand away.

***

The dark red liquid swirled in her glass as Regina read over her case file at the kitchen table. In the living room, Henry had his school work splayed out around him over the surface of the rug. This was a new habit that Regina suspected he’d picked up from Emma. There was a perfectly good desk in his room, but no, Henry opted for the floor. Regina sighed. There were some things that weren’t worth the fight.

A knock on the door startled Regina out of her musings. If she’d been focusing on her work, she might have been annoyed. As it were, she was merely curious as to who’d be at the door at this time of evening on a school night. She certainly wasn’t expecting anyone. 

She got up and opened the door. A familiar face greeted her, eyes not quite meeting hers.

“Emma,” Regina greeted, a note of surprise in her voice.

“Uh, hi.” Emma said. She raised her hands, holding a reusable bag from Costco. “Henry left his sweater at my place. It’s supposed to be chilly tomorrow, I thought he might want it…”

Emma’s eyes remained fixed at the space over Regina’s right shoulder.

“Henry has sweaters here, dear.” Regina said, not unkindly. She took the bag from Emma regardless.

“Right.” Emma said, shaking her head. “Of course he does. I just…”

Emma didn’t make to finish her sentence. She met Regina’s gaze. Regina felt her expression soften.

“I just never thought we’d be here, I guess.” Emma said, her voice as small as she looked.

“I know this is an adjustment.” Regina said slowly. She raised her hand, as if to reach out and trace along Emma’s arm. She caught herself, running it through her own hair instead. 

“I hate this.” Emma whispered, an edge to her voice. She took a step forward. “I hate being a part-time parent.”

Emma’s hands were clenched into fists at her sides. It was Regina’s turn to break eye contact, looking at the foot of floor between them.

“We have no choice. You have to go.” Regina said, voice carefully void of emotion but thick with the effort. The second the words left her mouth, the room became charged with melancholy. Regina felt like she’d been punched, a precise blow meant to render her concave. 

Emma stared back at her. Green eyes were so far away, filling with a despair Regina had seen once before… 

_A small town square. Her too-tight grip on a rolled up piece of paper._

Before…

_A yellow town line. A yellow car. A white face, blood drained from tear-stained cheeks._

Regina blinked, trying to remember. The memory slipped through her fingers, leaving nothing but a residue of _I’m missing something._

“No, you’re right.” Emma said, the fight leaving her. Her eyes were wiped of emotion, all that lingered were traces of confusion in the lines meant to crinkle when she smiled.

“Goodnight, Emma.” Regina said, closing the door. She set the deadbolt and turned around, leaning against the wooden frame. She listened carefully, hearing footsteps slowly retreat down the hall.


	3. it’s quieter now (my heart used to beat so loud—didn’t it?)

_A dark clearing surrounded by a wall of trees. Gravestones. A mausoleum. An impending curse with promises of something far more sinister. They found their lives in the hands of the man they couldn’t trust._

_“Well it is possible to stop it.” Gold said seriously._

_Emma felt her chest swell, a balloon inflating between her heart and her ribs. The pressure was excruciating. She felt like she might float away._

_“By using the scroll itself. It can only be undone by the person who used the scroll. That’s you, Regina.” Gold continued._

_Emma’s gaze turned to the woman who’d been trying infuriatingly hard at redeeming herself, who’d move the moon for her son, who’s heart may not be as dark as her past._

_“What do I have to do?”_

_Of course she didn’t hesitate. Agreed without asking consequences. Anything to protect Henry._

_“You must destroy the scroll. Both your curse and his will be ended but know this: there will be a price. A steep one.” Gold finished._

_Regina took the scroll and the next thing Emma knew, she was falling to the ground._

_“Regina! Regina! Regina!” Emma shouted, trying to wake her to no avail._

_Brown eyes snapped open, seeking green._

_“Emma.” She breathed._

_“Are you okay?”_

_“I’m fine. I just, saw what needed to be done.”_

_“Mom, are you going to be okay?” Henry’s expression was pleading, like he’d never wanted anything more._

_“The important thing is, you will be.”_

_Emma felt her stomach drop, leaving no support for her heart._

_“It’s here! There’s no escape!” Leroy cried as he ran at the speed of a man more accustomed to reaching for a cold beer than running across a finish line._

_“You can stop it, right? Regina?” David asked, voice strained._

_“Yes.”_

_A glimmer of hope flickered, gone out as soon as it’d been lit. Emma should have known better than to get her hopes caught on empty promises._

_“Wait, what is the price? Gold said there was a price. What is our price?” Emma asked._

_“It’s not our price, Emma. Only one needs to pay it. It’s my price.” Regina said, her jaw set in determination and her eyes flickering with grief._

_“I have to say goodbye to the thing I love most. I have to say goodbye to my family.” Regina said, her gaze lingering on Emma for the briefest of moments before looking over to Henry._

_“Henry?” Emma asked._

_“I can never see him again. I have no choice, I have to undo what I started.” Regina said, a hint of emotion trickling into her voice._

_“The curse that brought us to Storybrooke.” Snow said softly, piecing it together._

_“The curse that created Storybrooke.” Regina corrected._

_Storybrooke will cease to exist. Gone, like a sand castle that’s met a wave, crumbling as if it were never anything more than individual grains._

_They’ll go back to the Enchanted Forest. Except Henry._

_A drumming began a crescendo in Emma’s ears. Her face flushed. Every detail became sharp. The warmth beneath her gloves coming from Henry’s shoulders. The strands of brown hair framing a heartbreakingly serious face._

_She was born the Saviour. She was meant to break the curse. And she can escape it now._

_Emma could see a small part of Regina die the moment she said this. The woman couldn’t bear for Henry to be alone. But it was killing her not to be the one to stay with him._

_“No.” Emma said, shaking her head. “No, there has to be another way. There’s always another way. Isn’t that what heroes do? They find that impossible other option.”_

_“I’m afraid there isn’t one, dear.” Regina answered quietly._

_“But, but—” Emma scrambled to find something, anything. A light went off behind her eyes and they snapped to meet Regina’s. “You were never really under the curse.”_

_Regina stared blankly at Emma._

_“What do you mean, of course she was Emma.” Snow chimed in, doubtful. “She was here in Storybrooke with the rest of us.”_

_“No, but you were awake. You didn’t have fake memories. You were the only one who chose to come here. Surely, now, you can stay.” Emma said. Regina closed her eyes, let out a sigh._

_“Technically, yes. But the price must be paid, otherwise none of this will work. I have to say goodbye to my family.” Regina said, shaking her head. Henry broke away from Emma, wrapping his mother in a tight hug._

_Emma had grown up mourning the loss of the parents she’d never had. Now, she’d be mourning the promise of what could have been. It had been years, but it hadn’t been long enough. She’d wasted so much time not knowing how to be a part of a family. She hadn’t cherished having parents while she could._

_“I’m not done. I’m the Saviour, right? I’m supposed to bring back all the happy endings, that’s what Henry always said. I’m not done.”_

_“Happy endings aren’t always what we think they will be.” Snow said with a sad smile. Emma looked quickly at those surrounding her, taking inventory. All these people who’d been insignificant just over a year ago, now she couldn’t bear thinking of saying goodbye to them._

_She looked at Regina, pleading. Regina just stared back with pity, for herself or for Emma, it wasn’t clear._

_“I’ve known you for some time, and all I wanted was for you to get the hell out of my life so I could be with my son. But really, what I want is for Henry to be happy. We have no choice. You have to go.” Regina said resolutely, the words scratching her throat on their way out._

***

A hand slammed down on Emma’s desk, shocking her into focus. She’d been in a near-comatose state, staring at the same email for ten minutes. Her mind had wandered off, though where it had gone Emma couldn’t say.

“Come on, Swan.” Lara said, out of uniform and changed into her casual clothes, a pair of well-fitted jeans and a sheer, black blouse buttoned up to the collar. “We’re going for a drink. Eileen’s got us a table at O’Grady’s.”

“Uh, I have to finish these…” Emma blinked at her screen, flipping through open tabs to try to find the report she was supposed to be working on.

“Yeah, you’re working real hard.” Lara scoffed. She grabbed her leather jacket from the back of her chair and put it on. “Save it for tomorrow. Maybe you’ll be able to crank out something that isn’t jibberish.”

Lara was leaning over Emma’s shoulder, a hand on the back of her chair, and chuckling at the crap Emma had written in the last hour of work.

“I guess…” Emma started, already standing up and grabbing her bag.

“You can get back to filing a search warrant for _‘slime ball suspect number 5’s slime pad’_ tomorrow.” Lara said. Emma started walking to the locker room.

“I can’t stay too late, I’m picking Henry up from his afterschool club today.” Emma said.

“Right, the chess club.” Lara said with a smirk.

***

“Took you guys long enough,” a not-so-annoyed Eileen greeted.

“Blame Emma. She was busy writing a novel for her search warrant.” Lara said, sliding into the booth next to her partner and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. 

“Hey,” Emma protested, settling into her own seat across the table. “I was just a little distracted.”

“Not an urgent case, then?” Eileen said with a small smile.

“Not this one, no.” Emma said. She placed her elbows on the table, about to launch into the case. “The double homicide is still open though. Just stalled.”

“That’s enough shop talk for today,” Eileen interrupted. 

“You know the rules, Swan.” Lara added, looking smug. “Rookie mistake.”

Emma just shook her head with a laugh. It was then that their server came over to take their orders. Pints of beers all around. Emma watched as the blonde waitress walked away.

“See something you like, Swan?” Lara asked. Emma turned back around and blushed.

“No—” Emma started.

“Not her type, babe.” Eileen said.

“I don’t have a type!” Emma protested. 

“Not-so-tall, dark and beautiful? Sparks like a live wire?” Lara supplied. 

“Knock it off, guys.” Emma said. The waitress returned with their drinks and Emma murmured her thanks.

“In all seriousness, Emma,” Eileen said. “Isn’t it about time you started dating? It’s been nearly a year.”

“And it had been seven years together before that.” Emma said, her eyes dark and storming.

“You don’t really talk about it.” Eileen probed. 

“Eileen,” Lara said softly, placing a hand on her partner’s arm.

“What’s there to talk about?” Emma said quickly. 

“Your marriage?” Eileen supplied. “Your divorce?”

Emma just rolled her eyes and took a swig of her beer.

“Eileen has a point,” Lara said. “Keep it all inside and you’ll combust. And I can’t afford the paperwork on that cleanup.”

“I guess, it’s…” Emma started, struggling to find the words. “I guess it’s quieter, now.”

***

_Emma entered her home, slamming the door behind her._

_“Jesus, Emma.” Regina said, annoyed. She was holding Henry, still small enough to carry in her arms at 4 years old. She was walking him back and forth in the living room, trying to soothe the tears that started up again in response to the startling sound._

_“Sorry,” Emma grumbled. She felt bad for startling Henry, but her frustration was etched into her bones. “Are there leftovers from dinner?”_

_“I put a plate for you in the fridge,” Regina answered, not looking up from Henry’s wailing. Emma dragged her feet behind her, making her way to the kitchen as Regina passed her with nothing but a glare, taking Henry to his room._

_Emma reheated the leftovers, but even her favourite lasagna recipe couldn’t cheer her up. She watched as the plate turned clockwise in the microwave, eyes looking through the dish._

_“What happened.” Regina said, what seemed like hours later. Emma was staring at the blinking light on the microwave that showed it was done._

_“I don’t want to talk about it.” Emma grumbled, taking the pasta out and grabbing a fork. She fell into a chair at the kitchen table and started inhaling her meal._

_“Well I don’t want my wife coming home from work in a huff, working up our son who’d just calmed down from a tantrum but we can’t always get what we want.” Regina said. “Tell me.”_

_“The freaking manager at the store fired me.” Emma muttered. Regina’s eyes went wide, a fire lighting behind them. Regina put her hands on her hips and Emma rose to match her stance. “It wasn’t my fault!”_

_“It never is, with you.” Regina countered. She turned away, shaking her head._

_“It’s true! My co-worker mislabelled the products and sold the $1000 necklace for $300. I wasn’t even the one on shift when it happened! I was just there when they figured out the discrepancy, I was doing inventory. I fucking brought it to them. But Ben’s my manager’s fucking cousin so they’d never fire him.” Emma shouted._

_“Emma, this is the fifth job in eight months.” Regina said, her voice pleading. “We can’t keep doing this. I’m working as a public defender, as you well know. I can’t afford to raise our son on my salary. I need you to get a job and stick with it.”_

_“I tried!” Emma retorted. Tears had started to well in her eyes as her fuse burned and started to give way to sadness. “I really did this time.”_

_“And the last time? And the time before that?” Regina shouted, throwing her hands in the air._

_“I really did… I tried.” Emma whispered, letting her head drop into her hands, trying to conceal the tears that had blown past her blockade._

_“But it’s not the right fit. Or your manager’s out to get you. Or your co-worker looks at you the wrong way.” Regina counted off._

_“You know that was justified. He was a jackass with wandering hands and a habit of coming to work drunk. I know exactly where that leads.” Emma said, her voice low and angry._

_Regina let out a breath. She sat down beside Emma and put a hand on hers._

_“I know.” Regina admitted. “We just… we can’t keep going on like this Emma.”_

_“I know.” Emma said. She pulled her hand away and got up to put her dish in the sink. She’d suddenly lost her appetite. “I’ll figure it out.”_

_“Do.” Regina said softly._

_***_

_Emma smiled down at the cake she’d made. She’d baked it from scratch, finding the recipe in one of Regina’s cookbooks with the page dog-eared. She’d even iced it, inscribing a ‘Happy Birthday Regina’ on the top in purple icing._

_“Need a hand?” A voice asked from the other side of the room. Alicia, a butch woman with a masculine-of-centre style, entered the kitchen from the living room._

_“Yes, actually.” Emma said. She’d met Alicia at the academy, both joining a little later in their life compared to some of the younger recruits fresh out of school. “Regina loves this cake, but if we don’t put some fruit on the table she’ll accuse us of trying to give her diabetes for her birthday.”_

_Alicia chuckled and walked over to her._

_“Just tell me where they are.” Alicia said with a smile._

_“In the fridge, in the drawer. Here, I’ll get you the colander so you can wash them.” Emma said. She placed the colander in the sink. “So how’s your wood carving coming? What did you say were working on?”_

_“I’m working on building a longbow, actually.” Alicia said. “I’m taking a class for it, learning from an expert. It’s going really well so far. It’s a pretty delicate process, you gotta get the curve just right.”_

_The end of her sentence trailed slowly off the woman’s tongue and she didn’t break eye contact with Emma._

_“Sounds like quite the intricate process.” Emma said. “Here, I’ll grab the serving bowls.”_

_Emma moved to reach the shelf next to the sink just as Alicia turned around to put the colander full of wet berries on the counter. The still-dripping container got water droplets all along the front of Emma’s shirt._

_“Oh, I am so sorry.” Alicia exclaimed. She grabbed the hand towel next to the sink and started to press it to dry Emma’s shirt. Emma just laughed and tried to take the towel from her._

_“It’s okay, really. Just a bit of water.” Emma said._

_“What’s going on here?” Regina’s cold voice asked from the entrance to the kitchen. Alicia immediately dropped her hands and Emma clutched the towel to her chest._

_“Regina, you startled me.” Emma said. Regina’s eyes narrowed._

_“I’m gonna…” Alicia gestured to the living room and began to leave._

_“Am I interrupting something?” Regina asked, not looking at Alicia as she left._

_“God, no.” Emma said. She began picking up the stray berries that had fallen in the scuffle._

_“Look at me when I’m talking to you.” Regina said, coming closer. Emma looked up. Brown eyes resembled steel._

_“Regina, nothing happened.” Emma said, getting the bowls out and emptying the berries into them._

_“It didn’t look like nothing.” Regina countered._

_“Regina, you’re being paranoid.” Emma said, lowering her voice._

_“Her hands were on your breasts Emma! I’m not being unreasonable.” Regina protested._

_“My shirt got wet from the berries, Alicia was just getting a towel—Come on Regina, let’s not do this now.” Emma said, her voice tired._

_“Do what? Catch my wife in an affair on my birthday?” Regina said, her voice sounding like water about to boil._

_“Jesus, I’m not having an affair!” Emma said in a tight voice. “Alicia was helping.”_

_“Yes, I saw how helpful she was being.” Regina grumbled, folding her arms over her chest._

_“How many times do we have to have this fight?” Emma said, dragging her hands across her cheeks._

_“You’ve always had one foot out the door, Emma.” Regina lashed out. “We both know you’re just with me for Henry’s sake. You needed to hitch your wagon to mine to survive and you’ve been loosening your grip for four years!”_

_Emma walked over to Regina, the woman looking small in her four inch heels as she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to hold herself together. Emma pulled her close, holding her as Regina began to shake._

_“I’m here.” Emma said. “I’m with you. Only you. It’s always been you, Regina.”_

_Regina didn’t say anything, just kept shuddering until her shivers slowed their pace._

_“Why don’t I go tell our guests that the party’s over?” Emma asked, pulling back and lifting Regina’s chin up to look her in the eyes. “I’ll get everyone to leave and we’ll spend your birthday just us. Together, just our family.”_

_Regina just nodded and wiped her eyes. Emma leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. She lingered a moment before pulling away._

_“I love you, Regina. Just you, and Henry. I hitched my wagon to yours and I’m not going to bail out now.”_

***

“We fought all the time.” Emma continued. “I guess we never noticed it getting bad because we’d never not been fighting.”

Eileen placed a hand on top of Emma’s and gave a small smile.

“So yeah,” Emma cleared her throat. “Quieter. Now, tell me about your next trip. You’ve been back from Peru a couple months now, I know you’re planning the next one.”

The women across from her stared knowingly back, but went along with the subject change. They were looking into skiing in North-Eastern Japan, gawking at the photos available online of snowbanks taller than buses on the sides of the road. As they talked more about their plans, they grew more animated and excited.

“Oh shit guys, so sorry to interrupt but I’ve gotta head out.” Emma said, taking $15 from her wallet and placing it on the table. She leaned across the table to place a kiss on Eileen’s cheek as she wrestled to get her jacket on. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Lara. Take care, Eileen and don’t take this one’s bullshit about being too tired to clean up around the house tonight. She sat on her ass all day.”

“Hey!” Lara yelped. “What was that for?”

Emma just winked and rushed out the door.

***

Henry was waiting for Emma on the steps outside his school when Emma arrived. He had a notebook open on his lap and was writing furiously, as if his pen couldn’t keep up with the thoughts spilling from his over-active mind. It probably couldn’t.

“Hey kid, sorry I’m late.” Emma said, only slightly out of breath from her jog over and the beer that was sloshing around her empty stomach.

“You’re always late.” Henry grumbled. He didn’t look up, just kept writing.

“No, I’m—” Emma started before Henry shot her a disbelieving glare. “Okay, I’m always late. But hey, that’s not because you aren’t my top priority.”

Henry just set his jaw and looked back down at his notebook, though his pen had stilled. Emma crouched down to be at eye level. She touched his arm with one finger.

“Hey, I mean it.” Emma said. Henry looked down at his arm where they were touching. “You always come first for me, bud. I know I am not great at keeping time, but I’m gonna work harder at that.”

Henry just gave a small nod.

“Hey, how was your writing club?” Emma asked. Henry’s eyes went wide, looking over her shoulder.

“Writing club?” Came a cold voice that set Emma’s hairs on edge.

“Oh shit.” Emma whispered, not turning around immediately.

“Language, Miss Swan.” Regina chided. Emma stood up and turned around slowly, noticing Henry scrambling to shove his notebook in his back and clutching it to his chest for dear life.

“Regina, it’s not what you think—” Emma said, her hands out in front of her, as if she were trying to calm a spooked horse.

“What I _think_ is that you’ve been lying to me, telling me that Henry has been going to Chess Club every Wednesday when he’s actually been going to Writing Club.” Regina seethed, her voice low and dangerous.

“I know you’re mad, Regina, but Henry’s still up to his ears in extracurriculars. What does it matter if one of them is something he actually enjoys?” Emma said, her voice going shrill.

“Is this the kind of example you want to set for our son?” Regina asked, pointing over to Henry. “Showing him it’s okay to lie to his mother? Making me out to be some sort of, some sort of villain who wouldn’t let him pursue his dreams if he asked?”

“I know your aspirations, Regina.” Emma said. “I know you’re itching for a seat in the political sphere. I didn’t want you to push your high expectations onto our son. I thought—”

“My aspirations are my mother’s.” Regina said, her voice dropping even lower. “I would never force them on Henry the way mine were forced on me. I thought you knew me better than that, Emma.”

Regina deflated a little.

Emma sighed. She’d fucked up and she knew it.

“I’m sorry, I—” Emma said, looking to the side.

“Save it.” Regina said curtly. She turned and walked over to Henry, her demeanor instantly softening. “Henry, does Writing Club make you happy?”

Henry nodded with his eyes wide. Emma wondered if he’d blinked at all during their argument.

“Well then, there’s no need to hide it from me.” Regina said. “Now, how about we walk home together?”

Regina started walking, setting the pace. Emma fell into step beside Henry.

“You called your mom?” Emma asked curiously.

“I thought you’d forgotten me.” Henry said, his voice small.

Emma’s heart broke and she told herself she wouldn’t leave Henry waiting again. She never wanted him to feel forgotten, or unwanted.

“Never, kid.” Emma said, smiling down at him. Henry gave a small grin in response and then ran to catch up to his mom and slipped his hand in hers.

Emma let out a small sigh as Henry started skipping beside his other mother. She hated how normalized his mothers’ fighting had become that he could just bounce back like nothing had happened. That wasn’t the example she’d wanted to set for him. That wasn’t what he was supposed to look up to and think of as a happy marriage. 

They arrived at the apartment building and climbed the stairs to the fourth floor. Emma would normally opt for the elevator, but Regina had managed to convince Henry that taking the stairs was fun. How, Emma would never figure out.

By the time Emma reached the top of the stairs, Henry was giving Regina a hug goodbye. 

“Hey, um, I am sorry.” Emma said, reaching out to place a light finger on Regina’s arm, stopping her mid-step. “I shouldn’t have lied to you.”

“No, you shouldn’t have.” Regina said, turning to face Emma fully.

“I’ll make sure the kid knows this one’s on me.” Emma said, removing her hand. Regina just nodded.

They parted ways, walking to opposite ends of the hall. Emma opened her apartment door and let Henry rush in. She turned to look over her shoulder, seeing the door at the end of the hall closing shut. She let out a sigh, feeling the remaining tension leave her body. The light at the end of the hall flickered and went out.


	4. we called it happiness (I didn’t realize you were…)

_Emma looked over across the console of her yellow Bug. There was a grief in her eyes and Regina couldn’t bear meet them. She knew what Emma was leaving behind to make this move._

_Regina felt a loss too, but it was a muted feeling. She hadn’t built a life in Boston the way Emma had, she assumed. All she’d given up was her company car. She stared forward out the windshield, watching droplets of rain form abstract art across the surface._

_Emma was leaving behind a job she’d loved. The house they’d made their home. Regina felt a twinge of guilt. She hadn’t given Emma an ultimatum. She hadn’t had to._

_She placed her hand on top of Emma’s where it was resting on the clutch._

_“It’s going to be okay.”_

_“Of course.” Emma mumbled, not looking over at Regina. Regina looked over her shoulder to check on Henry in the backseat. He had his headphones on, staring out the window with eyes wiser than his years. His shoulders slumped, heavy with the weight they’d thrust upon him._

_“I know this wasn’t the plan.” Regina said quietly._

_“No, it certainly wasn’t.” Emma said. “But when a fancy New York law firm comes knocking, what does it matter what your wife—”_

_Emma choked up as the word fell from her lips. She blinked hard, but the tears welled and overflowed._

_“Emma,” Regina said, her voice light across the eggshells that filled the space between them, far greater than the distance between their seats. “I couldn’t pass up this opportunity. You said you understood. I didn’t ask you to give up your job.”_

_“There was an opening in the NYPD.” Emma said, her voice thick with the tears she was wiping from her cheeks. “Besides, it was my fault you had to leave the public defence attorney’s office to practice in a private firm in the first place.”_

_Regina sighed. It’s true that Regina had joined a Boston law firm to keep their family afloat when Emma had decided to go back to school, to the police academy. She’d felt like she was ripping a part of her own heart out to do so, but one look at the joy on her wife’s face, the I’ve finally found where I belong, Regina, and she knew she’d do it again everyday just to see that smile._

_“You know I never blamed you, Emma.” Regina offered tentatively._

_Emma looked over then, her shining green eyes hardening as they met hers._

_“Didn’t you?”_

_The divorce papers sat heavy in Regina’s lap._

***

Regina walked into work at precisely 7:30am, expecting to be the first one in the office. She was disappointed.

“Hey, Reg.”

Regina groaned.

“It is too early for your nonsense, Julie.” 

“You love it.” Julie answered in her cheery voice. Regina just glared as they walked together to the kitchenette. Regina got started on making the coffee. She was the only one in the firm capable of making coffee with any kick to it, as she’d learned the hard way after drinking an intern’s brew. She gave a small smile at the memory of her boss shouting _this is like making love in a canoe_ and the intern’s confusion. Fucking close to water. Her boss thought he was being funny, but the humour landed better at his last firm in Canada.

“What brings you into the office so early?” Regina asked, though she had her suspicions.

“I expect we’ll start seeing many early risers from now on,” Julia said vaguely. She paused only a brief moment before continuing. “Well, until the partner position gets filled.”

Regina just nodded. Everyone would be breaking their backs bending over to impress the voting members for the next few weeks. She suspected that was part of why they bothered to announce it at the firm meeting. The work efficiency would sky rocket and hours of overtime would go un-clocked. But the partners wouldn’t make any decisions based on a couple weeks’ worth of work. No, they’d look at someone more reliable, who’d proven over and over again that they worked harder than anyone else.

But still, it wouldn’t do to be overshadowed in the final stretch.

Regina poured her coffee and turned away from her musings. 

“Alright, talk to me about the Peterson case.”

***

Regina knocked on the apartment door down the hall. The one she was always aware of whenever she went home. Almost a minute went by and Regina knocked again, tapping her black high heeled foot. 

“Coming!” A muted voice yelled from inside.

The door was wrenched open, Emma was running a hand through her blonde curls and slowing down from her race to the door.

“Regina.” Emma said in surprise. She tucked her hair behind her ear and it fell behind her slender neck. Regina brought her eyes up to lock with Emma’s. “Come in.” 

Emma stood to the side, leaving the door open for Regina. 

“I wanted—” Regina started.

“I’m just making dinner, I hope it’s okay if I multitask.” Emma cut her off, running off to the kitchen. Regina’s eyes widened.

“Don’t look so surprised.” Emma said, not turning around. “I do cook on nights I don’t have Henry.”

Regina clasped her hands in front of her, rubbing her thumb across her knuckles. She stood awkwardly beside the stools at the island.

“Yes, well.” Regina said. 

“Okay, so maybe it’s a new thing I’m trying out. Everything always takes longer that I think it will, and dinner keeps getting pushed later and later. So I figured: leftovers! Reheat and you’ve got dinner in like, two minutes. Anyway, what did you drop by for?” Emma asked, her voice light and airy. Regina felt herself scowling at the prospect of microwaved dishes for dinner, but quickly schooled her features into a more neutral expression. Emma stirred what looked to be a homemade sauce on the stovetop, if the dirty chopping boards with ends of various vegetables was any indication. And if Regina were being honest, it didn’t look like something out of a hazardous waste bin.

“I came to ask a favour.” Regina said. Emma put a breaded something into the oven and turned around. “I know it’s last minute, but…”

Emma placed a wine glass in front of her and filled it with Regina’s favourite red.

“Uh, thank you.” Regina stuttered.

“What is it, Regina?” Emma asked, the corners of her eyes pinching with concern. “It not like you to act coy.”

Regina flashed her eyes and took a sip of the offered wine. Deciding that it was an invitation, Regina sat down on the black barstool beside her.

“I was wondering if you’d switch nights with me. Tomorrow.” Regina asked. 

“Yeah, no problem.” Emma said, her pink lips forming a small frown. Regina knew that look, the one she had brought home more and more frequently after being promoted to detective in Boston. “Something come up at work?”

“No, I actually have a date.” Regina said quickly. She took another sip of wine. It tasted off, not quite like she remembered. It was her favourite wine, the one Emma used to pick up to celebrate a promotion or a birthday, or sometimes the end of a hard day. But it no longer tasted as bold, and it left a bittersweet aftertaste in her mouth.

Emma’s face was quickly devoid of any trace of emotion. Her eyes dulled, the laugh lines smoothed and the corners of her lips drew her mouth into a neutral line.

“I see.” She said. “Well, that’s, er, good. That’s good.” Emma went to grab her wine glass but ended up knocking it over. She cursed and grabbed the towel hanging beside the sink to mop it up. Wasting no time, Emma grabbed the bottle and poured another. Regina didn’t comment.

“How about you?” Regina asked slowly, hating how timid she sounded. Emma just blinked at her over the top of her glass. “Are you seeing anyone?”

“Me? No, no I’m not.” Emma said.

“Right.” Regina said, looking down at her hands. “Well, you could, you know?”

“Yes, I know I could.” Emma snapped. “I don’t need your permission, Regina. Not for anything. Not anymore.”

“I know.” Regina said. She traced a pattern on the counter, a curve of a swan neck. “I wasn’t trying to—”

“Stop, Regina.” Emma exhaled. She bent over the counter, placing her elbows down. “I don’t want to hear it.”

Regina nodded. She made to get up from her seat, but froze at Emma’s sharp laugh. 

“I never thought we’d be...” Emma let out a small puff of air, a humourless smile gracing her features, “talking about our _dating lives_ over a glass of wine at my apartment. The one we don’t live in together.”

Regina felt her eyes cloud over, aching to become lost in memories of a past that was so much easier than this.

“We used to be so happy.” Emma said wistfully. 

“Were we?” Regina asked. Sure, she remembered tender touches, heartfelt gestures, whispered confessions of love, but overwhelmingly she remembered short fuses and cutting remarks from hoarse voices. She remembered support tainted with mistrust and love wrapped in insecurity.

“For an orphan who found a home, being wanted can feel a lot like belonging.” Emma whispered. She shrugged her shoulders. Regina felt a kinship she had no business feeling.

“You know, when we first moved here, I felt like I was giving up so much for you. And we weren’t even married anymore.” Emma muttered.

“Well, technically the papers hadn’t been filed yet. We were still married.” Regina corrected.

“I don’t care about technicalities Regina.” Emma said tersely. She sighed. “But we’ve been here nearly a year and I have my job, and I have Henry, and I’ve even made friends.” Another chuckle void of amusement.

“I have more here than I ever had in Boston,” Emma continued. “But I still feel like a part of me is missing. Like there was something I left behind.”

Regina reached for Emma, stopping just shy of touching her hand. It wasn’t a reflex, it was deliberate. Still, she lost her nerve too late to deny the move.

“I have more than I ever had.” Emma repeated. “But I don’t have...”

Regina’s head snapped up, she was drawn to make eye contact as if caught in a magnetic pull. A moment passed. And another. But all Regina knew were the emotions dancing across green eyes. She didn’t dare move.

The timer went off, bringing both back to reality. Emma turned and took the tray out. She placed the battered base on a plate and added a slice of cheese before drizzling a plentiful helping of sauce over top. At least the sauce had vegetables in it.

“Chicken parmesan.” Regina commented, finishing her wine.

“You know I’ve always had a soft spot for Italian cuisine…” Emma shrugged.

“I’d better get going. Henry will be finishing his soccer game soon.” Regina said, walking over to rinse her glass out in the sink.

“You guys are welcome to come over for dinner,” Emma offered. Her hands had buried themselves in her pockets. “I can wait, I’m not that hungry yet.”

“I have pulled pork in the slow cooker,” Regina declined. “But thank you for the offer, Emma.”

There was a tenderness in her gaze that Emma did not return. Regina turned away, hesitating a moment at the door but deciding not to say anything.

***

_Regina rounded a corner at the gas station. She was looking at two types of chips her mother would never had allowed her to eat, were she still living at home. Still, when she brought one up to the cashier’s counter, she paid with cash and took no receipt._

_She walked the five minutes back to her apartment. She tried going over the relevant case law for tomorrow’s exam, but her head was muddled with all the information she’d been cramming in for the past week and a half._

_The door stuck as she opened it, only bending to her will after a forceful blow from her hip. Regina looked at the boxes in the hall from where her roommate had left them when her moving van had been too full. She hadn’t even given a month’s notice before moving out._

_Regina shook her head again, carefully stepping around boxes to get to her room. It was just as well, her roommate had left messes in her wake wherever she went and was consistently three days late paying rent._

_Regina sat down at her desk and opened the bag of chips. Plain flavour. Reduced salt. Even when she was rebelling against her mother’s wishes, the voice in the back of her head caused her to hesitate. To not push it so far._

_She was just about to put her noise-cancelling headphones on when she heard the buzzer. She looked at her watch._

_3:45pm_

_Hm, this Swan girl was early. Regina plastered her most winning smile on her face and went to get the door._

_“Hi, you must be Emma Swan.” Regina said, shooting her hand out in front of her. The girl in front of her had long, wavy hair that looked like it hadn’t been brushed this week, thick-framed glasses that sat crooked on her face and wore a faded sweater that made the frame underneath anybody’s guess. The girl blinked at her hand, as if she were unsure what to do with it._

_“Uh, yes. And you must be Regina.” Emma answered. She took Regina’s hand and shook it meekly. God, this girl looked like she was still in high school._

_“Come in.” Regina said, not letting her smile falter. “I’ll show you around. Don’t mind the boxes.”_

_Regina led her around the small apartment, Emma following in her steps like a lost puppy. It was a short tour, ending with the second bedroom._

_“And here’s where you’d sleep.” Regina said. “So, what are your initial thoughts?”_

_“I, uh, it all looks good,” Emma said. “It’ll do nicely.”_

_Regina smiled. Emma blinked. Regina wondered if she’d dazed the poor girl or if she was just feeling overwhelmed. Regina gestured toward the living room and they sat down._

_“So, you know the details from the ad.” Regina said, raising her eyebrow in question. Emma nodded quickly. “Then I’d like to ask some questions about you.”_

_Emma looked mildly panicked at this but nodded nonetheless._

_“Shoot.”_

_“What brings you to the city?” Regina asked._

_“School.” Emma answered. “I’m transferring this semester to the University.”_

_“What program?” Regina asked._

_“Business.” Emma answered quickly._

_“Year?” Regina continued._

_“Third.” Emma replied._

_“Age?” Regina probed._

_“21.” Emma said without hesitation. Regina raised her eyebrow._

_“Really?” Regina said, her voice disbelieving._

_“Next month.” Emma said, a blush beginning to rise in her cheeks. Regina didn’t say anything, just kept looking at her. “Okay, I’m 18.”_

_“And you’re not a third year business student at the University.” Regina provided. Emma shook her head. “I don’t care whether you’re going to school or not, Miss Swan. But I don’t like being lied to.”_

_“Right.” Emma said. She stood up. “I can show myself out.”_

_Regina grabbed her arm gently, stopping her retreat._

_“It’s okay, Emma.” Regina said. “I may be a law student, but I’m not as intimidating as I look.”_

_Regina softened her statement further with a smile. One that Emma shyly returned._

_“Law student, huh?” Emma said._

_“I’m studying for the BAR exam now, it’s in a couple months.” Regina said. “Why don’t I give you the subletting agreement to take home and look over? If you decide you’re interested, give me a call and I’ll arrange for you to meet with my former roommate. She’s on the lease, so you’ll be subletting from her.”_

_***_

_Emma didn’t have much to move in. Just a suitcase of clothes and box of a few trinkets. Regina had offered to help her get settled but Emma brushed her off._

_Regina was studying in her room when there was a light knock on her door._

_“Come in.” Regina said, finishing what she was writing down before turning around in her chair. Emma was standing in her doorway, one arm holding the other, as if she hadn’t just been invited in._

_“I was wondering if you wanted to watch a movie?” Emma asked softly. Regina smiled._

_“I’d like that. Have one in mind?” Regina asked._

_“No, we can watch whatever you want.” Emma answered._

_“Oh, there’s a new movie I wanted to see.” Regina said, her eyes lighting up. “Imagine Me & You. We can go see if the movie rental shop has it!”_

_“I’ve never heard of it.” Emma admitted._

_“It’s a romance. Do you like romance?” Regina asked, her voice ever so slightly lower without intending it._

_“I mean, sure.” Emma said, the now familiar blush gracing her cheeks._

_“Great! Let’s go after dinner.” Regina said with finality._

_And that was how, on the first night with her new roommate, Regina had found herself sitting closely on the couch, passing popcorn back and forth between them. Their hands brushed a few times over the course of the movie and Regina mentally shook herself._

_When the movie ended, Regina was the first to get up. She took out the DVD and put it in its case._

_“I didn’t realize you were,” Emma started. Regina looked over her shoulder at her roommate._

_“That I was,” Regina prompted when Emma didn’t continue, her voice laced with amusement._

_“Into women.” Emma finished quietly. Green eyes were curious and bright._

_“Does it matter?” Regina asked, fully facing the blonde. Her face was now stone-cold sober._

_“No, of course not.” Emma said, offering a small smile._

_And that was how Regina had come out to her new roommate._

_***_

_“Happy birthday, Regina.” Emma said, holding a cupcake with a start-shaped candle on top. She sat down on Regina’s twin bed, forcing Regina to move to the side as she wiped the sleep from her eyes._

_“Emma, it’s eight o’clock in the morning! I couldn’t possibly…” Regina said, but the radiant smile gave her away._

_“You could possibly!” Emma teased. It had taken a month, but Emma no longer crept around the apartment as if she were a guest._

_Emma held the cupcake in both hands toward her. Regina blew out the candle and Emma shivered. Regina took the cupcake and took a bite. She closed her eyes, savouring the chocolate cake and buttercream icing. When she opened them, Emma was watching her carefully._

_“What did you wish for?” Emma asked in a low voice. Regina placed the cupcake on her bedside table._

_“Whispering it to you still counts as telling.” Regina whispered, leaning forward. “And I want this one to come true.”_

_“Well I hoped you wished for joint pain, because that one will definitely come true.” Emma joked._

_“Hey, I’m not that old!” Regina protested. She threw her pillow at Emma, causing the blonde to jump off the bed and let out a delightfully high-pitched giggle. “24 is not that old!”_

_“Older than 18, that’s for damn sure.” Emma called as she ran out of the room. “Should I get you a walker?”_

_***_

_A muffled sob came from inside Emma’s room. Regina opened the door without knocking._

_“Emma? Are you okay?” Regina asked. Emma was on the floor, leaning against the bed. Her head was tipped back and her thin frame was wracked with sobs._

_Emma just shook her head, tears obstructing her vision._

_Regina rushed to her side, pulling her close and tucking Emma’s head against her neck. She felt her collar soak up the tears._

_“Emma, dear. What is it?” Regina rubbed circles against her back. “Was it the boy you’ve been sneaking around with? You know you don’t have to sneak around your own home.”_

_Emma just shrugged._

_“You don’t have to do this.” Emma said, her voice muffled by Regina’s shirt. Regina started stroking her hair._

_“Someone’s got to look out for you, dear.”_

_***_

_Regina was standing sideways, looking at her outfit in the mirror. She smoothed her dress across her hips and turned to a different angle._

_“Stop that, you look gorgeous.” Emma said, walking straight to Regina’s bed with a bag of gummy worms in hand._

_“If you get crumbs on my bed, you’ll be washing the sheets.” Regina warned, but there was a smile on her face._

_“Gummy worms don’t even crumble.” Emma muttered. Emma laid back on her elbows and took in Regina’s outfit again. “You’re missing something.”_

_“I assure you, I am wearing all essential parts of the outfit.” Regina countered._

_“Regina, we’ve been over this. Underwear is necessary on dates, even if the chick is super-hot.” Emma said. Regina turned around and lightly swatted her across the arm. Emma scrambled to the other side of the bed, laughing._

_“Hush.” Regina said, turning back to the mirror to fix her hair._

_“You need jewellery.” Emma said, calming down from her laughing fit. She walked over to Regina’s dresser where she kept a jewellery box. She opened it and eyed the expensive necklaces and earring sets. She chose one. “Here.”_

_“Those are from my mother.” Regina said, her face clouded over. She reached into a drawer and pulled out a smaller box. She took out a simple pair of hoop earrings and a pendant necklace, neither had come with the price tag of her mother’s gifts. “Here, these will do.”_

_“Perfect.” Emma agreed._

_***_

_Regina was coming home late from celebrating the end of her exam. She’d gone out for drinks with her colleagues and was feeling slightly tipsy._

_She took her shoes off, wobbling slightly but trying to be quiet. She didn’t want to wake her roommate._

_She walked down the hallway toward her room but stopped when she noticed the light from under Emma’s slightly agar door. She raised her hand to knock but stopped when she heard a voice._

_“No, she has no clue.” Emma said. “It’s been months and we’re friends, er, she thinks we’re friends.”_

_Regina furrowed her brow._

_“Yeah, I’m subletting from her roommate. She has no idea the cheques have bounced.”_

_Regina slowed her breathing. She was breathing too loudly, wasn’t she?_

_“You swear, that’s all we need? That’s all we need to take care of our baby?”_

_Regina peaked through the crack. Emma was standing, phone in one hand and the other pressed to her stomach. Regina hadn’t noticed, since Emma always wore loose clothing, but she could see now the slight swell where there had once been a flat plane. Regina gritted her teeth._

_“Yeah, I got it.”_

_Regina pushed open the door then._

_“Emma?” Regina asked, desperately wanting her to say this wasn’t what she thought it was._

_“Regina!” Emma said, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. She dropped the phone._

_“Emma, what was that about?” Regina asked, her voice shaking._

_“What did you hear?” Emma asked, though her expression showed she knew the answer._

_Regina looked around the room, eyes landing on the packed suitcase, the small shoebox taped up to protect only the memorabilia Emma deemed important enough to take with her._

_“You’re leaving.” Regina said, her shoulders deflating._

_“You don’t understand.” Emma started to rush to her, to place soft hands on tense arms._

_“You’re pregnant.” Regina said. Emma’s chin began to wobble. “You’re pregnant and you’re running.”_

_Emma looked down at the ground._

_“Get out.” Regina said, her voice cold. Emma grabbed her bag and her box. She paused as she passed by Regina, but didn’t say anything. Regina refused to look at her. Refused to see any remorse. Or hear any explanation. She’d heard enough. The cheques to her old roommate had bounced, Emma hadn’t been paying rent._

_Emma kept walking, slamming the door behind her._

_Regina ran to her room, scanning to see what was missing. Her computer was untouched. All her books, her phone._

_She went to the living room. The television and DVD player were intact._

_She walked slowly back to her room. She stood in front of her dresser and opened the jewellery box on top. Empty. She checked her drawer for her second box and found the contents remained._

_Emma had taken the expensive jewellery her mother had given her. All of the pieces Regina refused to wear._

***

Regina pulled the deep red lipstick across her lips, applying a final coat. Normally, on a first date, she would stick to something more neutral. Less striking, less intimidating. Of course, on her first date with Emma, she hadn’t had to tone herself down.

Regina felt the corner of her mouth twitch before she shook off the pull towards memory lane and recapped her favourite lipstick.

“Henry!” Regina called over her shoulder. “Come on, it’s time to go!”

Henry dragged his feet as he made his way down the corridor. He’d been in a mood since she’d picked him up from study hall and refused to talk about it. 

“Whatever’s going on, you’re going to behave for your mother tonight.” Regina said sternly. 

Henry just let out a humph and grabbed his backpack. Regina sighed. 

They walked over to Emma’s apartment, Regina’s stilettos sharp against the wood floor. She rapped three short knocks on the door.

“Hey,” Emma greeted, her eyes trailing across Regina’s deep blue dress, paying extra attention to the V-neck cut and the hem that fell about mid-thigh. 

“Henry’s homework is done,” Regina said. “And he’s eaten dinner.”

“Excellent,” Emma said. “Come on, kid, let’s put on that Terminator movie we didn’t get to in your movie education.”

Henry didn’t say anything, just shuffled by her into the apartment.

“He’s been, a little short today.” Regina explained. “I don’t know what’s bothering him, he wouldn’t talk to me.”

“I’ll see if we can’t cheer him up.” Emma said with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Enjoy your date tonight.”

“Thank you.” Regina said. Emma closed the door but Regina didn’t move. She heard muffled voices from inside.

“This is all your fault!”

“Kid…”

“No, Ma. You stopped fighting for Mom. You just let her walk away. You might as well have told her to leave! And now she’s moved on. We’ll never be a family again!”

Regina felt her heart break. She’d have to have a talk with Henry tomorrow. But first, her date was waiting for her downstairs.


	5. what price would you pay to live for yourself? (to live in this family with me)

_The town line stared ominously at them._

_Henry said his goodbye to the only mother he knew for the first ten years of his life. He’d felt guilty._

_Regina didn’t let him hold the blame here. She took the responsibility from where it weighed too heavy on his scrawny shoulders._

_“Villains don’t get happy endings.”_

_“You’re not a villain. You’re my mom.”_

_Emma gave them a moment, saying her own goodbyes. She made the rounds until she heard Regina call her name._

_“There’s something I haven’t told you.”_

_She’s going to lose her memories. Of Henry, of her parents. They’ll fade into oblivion with the rest of Storybrooke as soon as she crosses that yellow line. Emma felt a lump forming in her throat. She swallowed clumsily around it._

_“What’s going to happen to us?” Emma asked._

_“I don’t know.” Regina didn’t bother to hide the tears in her eyes now._

_“That doesn’t sound much like a happy ending.” Emma said plainly. How ironic. The Saviour not only failed to bring all the happy endings back, she couldn’t even manage to secure her own._

_“It’s not.” Regina acquiesced. “But I can give you one.”_

_Not in maintaining their old memories, but in creating new ones. Good memories._

_“You’ll have never given him up. You’ll have always been together.”_

_Snow came in for one last goodbye, reaching for her daughters face and wiping away a stray tear. Emma made to move toward the bug._

_“Wait.”_

_Emma turned back around, staring at Snow._

_“This isn’t right.” Snow continued, chewing on her lower lip. “I’m losing half my family but Regina, you don’t have to. You cast the curse and you have to power to choose to stay. With Henry, your family.”_

_“Snow, the price has to be paid.” Regina said, shaking her head in exasperation._

_“Then I’ll pay it.” Snow said, determination radiating off her in waves._

_“No.” David breathed quietly. “No, it... Magic doesn’t work like that.”_

_“Yes, it does.” Snow countered. “Magic always comes at a price. And we are all benefiting from this magic, yet only one person must pay it. It doesn’t have to be Regina.”_

_“Regina, is this true?” David asked, clearly hoping to be proven wrong._

_“I—yes. It’s extremely rare.” Regina admitted. “People don’t usually volunteer to pay such prices, and they cannot be coerced. And, well, if you want something done right you’ve got to do it yourself.”_

_“But it’s possible.” Snow said, picking up steam. “You’ve already paid this price, over and over. Your father. Daniel. Let me…” Snow stepped forward and took Regina’s hands in hers. “This once, let me ensure that my happiness doesn’t come at the cost of yours.”_

_“No.” David protested._

_“David, we’re already saying goodbye to our daughter and grandson. Let’s not tear Henry from his other mother if it can be avoided.” Snow said._

_“But you’ll be saying goodbye to me, too. I won’t leave you.” David argued._

_“I’ll always find you, Charming. Just as you’ve always found me.” Snow smiled through thick tears. She pulled David in for a short, bitter kiss._

_Through this whole exchange, Regina stood dumbfounded, like a deer caught in the wake of what it had never dared hope for._

_“Regina, go. Be with your family.”_

***

“I hate you!”

The words echoed off the walls, followed shortly by the slamming of the bedroom door. Emma sighed, and put her bag down.

Henry had been picking fights with her more and more frequently since Regina’s date. He blamed her for their divorce and Emma had known that but it never caused him to lash out like this. 

“Dinner is in 30 minutes, kid!” Emma called back.

She went into the kitchen and started gathering the ingredients for pasta. She hadn’t been much of a cook, not when she’d been on her own. But she’d been shopping in search of a few things for her apartment here in New York and a cookbook caught her eye. It was the first thing she’d bought after the divorce. It felt like a fresh start. She’d do it right this time.

She could laugh at her naivety. As if sprucing of some of her domestic skillset could smooth over the tears in their family. But she chopped vegetables anyway and boiled pasta and put together a meal that could fill one void within them.

Dinner was a tense affair. Henry wouldn’t look at her, wouldn’t answer her questions about his day and so she eventually just stopped. Never mind about her day. She’d spent her shift working the double homicide case that was _still_ open. It was wearing down on the precinct. Where they used to jokingly tease one another, now they shot out short barbs, not caring who they injured. And now she was navigating a minefield at home too. She needed a drink.

Henry loaded the dishwasher and scurried off to his room with mutterings of homework. Even when he was pissed off at her, he still didn’t neglect his chores. Emma almost smiled at that. She could thank Regina for his manners, for his ingrained sense of responsibility. She wondered how she would have turned out if she’d had that kind of direction when she was younger. Probably the same, but with a different kind of resentment for authority figures.

Emma poured herself a glass of whisky and set herself up in front of the television, determined to unwind some before heading back into the crossfires tomorrow. Her phone buzzed with a message as she debated between _Orange is the New Black_ and _Brooklyn Nine Nine_. 

_Can I drop by?_

Emma sent off the permission and decided on _Brooklyn Nine Nine_. It was lighter, which was what she was looking for. A small voice in the back of her mind reminded her that it was also was Regina would have chosen, between the two. Not that she would have admitted to enjoying the cop show comedy. 

“I will never understand how you can just leave your door unlocked when you see all the crimes committed in the city.” 

“I’ve got a gloch with the hypothetical intruder’s name on it if they try anything.” Emma answered, not moving from the couch. 

“I have Henry’s math book that he left at my place,” Regina said. She placed the book on the kitchen table. “I thought he might need it, he has a test coming up.”

“Yeah, I know.” Emma answered. She took a sip of her whisky and stared back at the television. 

“Is he here?” Regina asked, a note of confusion in her voice. Emma heard her move closer, entering the living space.

“In his room.” Emma said curtly. 

“Whisky,” Regina hummed. “That’s never a good sign.” She sat down on the couch, uninvited. “What is it? Is Henry okay?”

“Henry’s fine,” Emma answered, refusing to look her ex-wife in the eye. “He’s just angry.”

“Angry?” Regina probed, hesitantly. Softly, almost.

“He’s having a difficult time dealing with our divorce,” Emma explained. “He’s decided to take it out on me.”

“I’ll talk to him.” Regina offered. 

“I can take it.” Emma declined. Regina reached out, placed a hand on Emma’s wrist.

“You don’t have to, though.” Regina said. Emma met her eyes then, full of concern and a desire to make it better. She looked away.

“I missed half a year of his life Regina. I never imagined I’d miss more.” Emma said quietly into her glass. The cushions shifted beneath her and she felt Regina wrap warm arms around her. Emma was pretty sure this was the last thing she should be doing, seeking comfort from her ex-wife, but she leaned in nonetheless. “He’s shutting me out.”

Regina’s hand moved to her hair and it was only a little awkward. A little unfamiliar. 

“Just give it time, dear.” Regina said in a low voice. “I know it’s hard, when he won’t look you in the eye. But he knows we both love him, that we only want the best for him. Just give him time.”

Emma pulled away to look Regina in the eyes. 

“What do you know about it, really?” Emma challenged. Regina’s arms dropped to her lap. “You’ve always been Henry’s favourite. He hasn’t hated you a day in his life! How could you possibly know how it feels?”

Regina’s brow furrowed. She looked over Emma’s shoulder, lost in the distance. She blinked and looked back at her.

“I suppose you’re right,” Regina admitted. She laid a hand atop Emma’s and gave a light squeeze. “But I know Henry. He’ll come around.”

Emma looked up at Regina and saw nothing but compassion in those deep brown eyes. Any resentment that had been building unwound and fell from her body in waves. 

“Thank you,” Emma said in a low voice. She ducked her head, leaning slightly closer. 

“Of course,” Regina said, her voice matching pitch. She didn’t make to pull away.

“Would you, would you like to stay and watch the show?” Emma offered, looking back up tentatively.

“Watch this drivel?” Regina quirked an eyebrow. 

“Shut up, you love it.” Emma teased. Her smile drew one out in Regina, who chuckled lowly. “I know you admire Captain Holt.”

“That may be,” Regina said, her gaze lingering longingly on the television. She drew her hand back. “But I have to get back. I have some work to get done for the partners tomorrow. There’s an opening and they’re running the firm like slave drivers, trying to get us to climb over each other to prove ourselves. As if they didn’t make their decision weeks ago. And I have a petty squabble to sort out among the PTA.” 

Regina visibly tensed as she recounted her to do list and Emma ached to reach out and dissolve it. 

“I don’t understand why you do it,” Emma said softly. Regina started to tense in a different way, her eyes narrowing defensively. “Well, I do. Because it’s what you think your mother would ask of you, if she were here. But you don’t have to live your life for her, Regina.”

Regina just stood up, and smoothed out her skirt. 

“I’ll see you later, Emma.” Regina turned around and let herself out. 

Emma sighed and returned to the television, watching the characters joke and tease and feeling lighter than she had all day.

***

_Regina was holding Henry as if he were the sun itself. Like he held all the light in the universe._

_He smiled sleepily with chiclet teeth._

_“He loves you.” Emma said, with a sad smile on her face. Regina reached out to place a soft hand on Emma’s arm. “He doesn’t smile for me.”_

_“You just have to let him get to know you.” Regina said. Emma felt the loss of Regina’s hand as she brought it to tickle Henry’s tummy. “He’s had six months to get used to me.”_

_“But I’m his_ mother, _shouldn’t he know me?” Emma asked, her voice pained. She sunk into the chair in the corner of Henry’s room and covered her eyes with her hands. She dragged them down her cheeks and then them fall into her lap. She looked up to see Regina standing still, her movements stopped. Emma got up from the chair and walked across the room. She reached out to rub her hands along tense shoulders. “I didn’t mean it like that.”_

_“I know how you meant it,” Regina said flatly. She jerked away from Emma’s touch and Henry started to cry. Regina began to rock him in her arms, swaying from side to side._

_“You’re Henry’s mom too.” Emma said. “I know that. He knows that. You were there for him when I couldn’t be and I can never repay you for that. I could also never take Henry from you. You’re too important to, well, to this family.”_

_Regina sighed. Henry’s cries slowed and Regina tucked him in his bed. She met Emma’s eyes with unshed tears._

_“You say that now but what if you change your mind once you’ve settled? What if you decide you don’t want to share your son with your defense lawyer? With your old mark?” Regina asked softly._

_“Regina, you were never just my lawyer,” Emma argued. She reached to hold the brunettes hand and Regina didn’t pull away. “You were never just a mark.”_

_Regina just blinked and stared at the floor._

_“Why don’t we,” Emma started. She cleared her throat. “Why don’t we look into the adoption process?”_

_Regina’s head whipped up, her eyes bright and apprehensive._

_“Are you sure? I don’t want to pressure you into something you’ll regret.” Regina whispered._

_“I’m sure,” Emma said with a self-assuredness she didn’t feel. “I don’t ever want you to doubt that you are part of this family.”_

_Regina gave a wobbly smile and let the tears fall. Emma drew her in close, rubbing circles along her back._

_“I’ll make the calls tomorrow,” Regina said after a long moment. She pulled away, her expression radiant._

_Emma smiled in return._

_“I should head to bed,” Regina said shyly. She walked out the door and Emma followed. They stood across the hall from each other, outside their respective bedrooms. “Goodnight, Emma.”_

_“Goodnight, Regina.” Emma answered._

_Emma had a fitful sleep that night, tossing and turning. She was running from her former foster father, then chasing after Neal, running from police officers and then asking Regina to stay._

_It wasn’t long before a cry from the baby monitor jolted her awake. Henry had taken to having nightmares at four years old. Emma’s had started when she was three and her first family had tossed her out with the bath water._

_It was her turn to check on Henry. Emma creeped into the nursery and drew the screaming child into a tight embrace. Emma held Henry as if he was a car crash. She couldn’t look away._

***

Emma stared at her computer screen blankly, as was quickly becoming habit. She used to be able to compartmentalize her life, to leave home at home and work at work. But she felt her boxes become sieves, letting their contents leak out and blend together. 

She had her report open and waiting for her to pay it attention but Henry managed to drag his feet across her mind instead. He’d been angry and upset and Emma understood why. To him, she’d single-handedly destroyed his happy family. It was unfair and just plain wrong. But Emma had been ripped from too many would-be families not to sympathize. 

A light and harmless something hit her head, shaking her from her contemplative coma. Emma blinked at the crumpled paper that had fallen to the floor beside her.

“Swan, don’t make me call the coroner.” 

Emma turned her head and blinked.

“So you are alive,” Lara teased. “Had me worried there for a minute.”

Emma just scowled and faced her screen again, her fingers hovering over the keyboard as if she had the intention of writing.

“Seriously though, that report isn’t getting done. And we’ve got that double homicide that the brass is up my ass about to close yesterday.” Lara said, her teasing tone dropping to professional cadence. “So get your butt into the war room and let’s hash this out, see if we can’t gain some new perspective.”

Emma sighed as she pushed herself up with visible effort, but her small grin made it clear she welcomed the change of scenery.

“Okay, so two women walk into a hotel room, and the punchline is: they die.” Emma said, standing in front of a bulletin board filled with photos of evidence, summary notes of coroners reports and a sparse timeline of events. The women beside her let out a snort, quickly concealed by her mask of contemplative neutrality. 

“These women, they live in different neighbourhoods, they work in different neighbourhoods, they grocery shop in different neighbourhoods. They aren’t members of the same gym, yoga studio, or goddamned bike co-op.” Lara counted off, her voice getting increasingly tense. 

“So how do they know each other?” Emma continues, getting at the question Lara was asking.

“School?” Lara suggested. Emma gestured to a piece of paper tucked behind some crime scene photos on the board.

“Different school districts.” Emma said. “Then different universities.”

“What about their spouses?” Lara asked, beginning to pace.

“Don’t know each other, from what I can tell.” Emma said, picking off a stapled leaflet of papers from the bulletin board and flipping through them. 

“Ugh this end is deader than our vics!” Lara exclaimed.

“Deader? Is that even a word?” Emma asked, not looking up from the page in front of her.

Emma put her hand in the air and started waving it to cut off whatever Lara was thinking of saying. “Here, I think I’ve got something.”

Emma grabbed a marker and moved over to the timeline. She drew a notch on the linear diagram and started writing dates.

“So, back in 2005 our vics were on different ends of the states, Sara at the community college in her home town and Rebecca at the state school. Which is where they met their now husbands, of course. Sara’s husband…” Emma grabbed another sheet on the other side of the bulletin board. “Bradley was in business and Rebecca’s husband… Stan was in law school. No connection, right? Wrong.”

Emma walked back to the table and rifled through her field notebook.

“Aha! Because in summer of 2007, dear old Brad and Stan here were working on internships in the city. Different companies, but they worked in the same building. Same floor. I bet you anything that’s the connection. That’s how they met.”

Emma wrote furiously on the whiteboard, willing her hand to move as fast and her mind. She ended it with a triumphant period and stepped back with a self-congratulatory grin. She looked over at Lara, who was less enthusiastic but seemed to be giving it consideration.

“Okay, it’s a stretch but maybe.” Lara eventually said. “But what’s the motive then?”

Emma let out a sigh and visibly deflated.

“That was it. That was my eureka moment for the day. I’ve got nothing else.” Emma said.

“Well, it’s worth looking into. We’ll give the husbands a call tomorrow.” Lara said, pushing away from the table she was leaning against. 

“Tomorrow?” Emma asked, looking down at her watch.

“As I recall, you still have a report to fill out.” Lara called over her shoulder.

Emma scowled. She dragged her feet the short distance back to her desk.

***

“Hey kid,” Emma greeted as she approached the school. Henry’s eyes shot up from the book he was reading. She’d been serious in her commitment to be on time in picking him up after school, and she’d stuck to it. But even still, Henry was surprised each time. 

Henry just grunted his acknowledgement and stuffed his book in his bag. He fell into step beside Emma, but stared straight ahead.

“How was school?” Emma asked. When Henry let out a huff instead of an answer, Emma stooped to give him him a light elbow to the ribs. 

“Hey!” Henry exclaimed, rubbing the offended side.

“How was school?” Emma asked again.

“Fine.” Henry muttered.

“Did you do anything?” Emma asked. 

“No.” Henry said.

“You’re telling me that you went to school for six hours, a school I pay 11 grand a year for, and did nothing all day?” Emma challenged, her tone playful.

“You split it with mom,” Henry muttered.

“So not the point kid.” Emma said.

“Fine! I had math, history, gym and English class and then it was the debate club after school.” Henry rattled off. “Happy?”

“Very.” Emma said. “I thought debate club was only for the older kids?”

“They let me sit in.” Henry shrugged.

“So you just watched?” Emma probed. Henry nodded. “Sounds boring as he—heck, if you ask me.”

“I didn’t ask you.” Henry retorted. “It was interesting. Mom was on her debate team in middle school.”

“Of course she was.” Emma said, internally rolling her eyes. “Did she tell you to go?”

“No, I just wanted to.” Henry said, defensive. Emma gave a small smile and ruffled his hair, which of course he shrugged out of as soon as her hand made contact. He’d always looked up to his mom. He used to call her a superhero, saving innocent people from mistakes in the system. Of course, he wasn’t privy to the actual client list of his mom’s firm. And Emma was going to see that it stayed that way for as long as possible.

They reached Emma’s apartment and Henry ran off to his room immediately. Emma let out a sigh and shook her head. This had gone on long enough. She’d let him mope for the better part of a week but now it was time for some Emma-style tough love.

She went into the kitchen to fix dinner, which was really yesterday’s dinner’s leftovers. But mac and cheese tasted better the second day anyway. And it wasn’t even out of a box this time, which Emma was very proud of. 

When it was sufficiently reheated, Emma called Henry to set the table.

“Okay kid, get the Central Park Zoo security on standby because you and I are going to tackle the elephant in the room,” was how Emma very smoothly brought up Henry’s permanently sour mood. The opener didn’t lift his spirits but the night was young.

“I don’t want to.” Henry said, staring holes into his mac and cheese. 

“You’ve been upset all week. I know you are having a hard time with your mother and I… our divorce. So we’re going to talk about it.” Emma said patiently.

“I have already said what I had to say.” Henry mumbled. 

“You blame me for giving up on the marriage.” Emma summarized as if going over last week’s board meeting. “But that’s not what happened and I think you know that.”

Henry didn’t respond.

“Your mother and I, we loved each other for a long time. But we were always fighting, you remember. And slowly, the fighting became all we had between us. Well, that and you. We love you so much, kid. And we realized that we’d be happier apart and that it would be better for you to see your moms happy.” Emma said, her eyes kind.

“Yeah, you gave me this spiel last year.” Henry said, still avoiding eye contact. 

“Well, I think you need to hear it again.” Emma said with a shrug.

“I remember it differently.” Henry said after a beat. “I remember you guys fighting, sure. But I remember you guys always made up. Until you stopped trying.”

Henry met her eyes at that, and Emma could see the beginnings of tears.

“Henry—” Emma started, putting her hand on top of his from across the kitchen table.

“No!” Henry ripped his hand away. “You would always fight with Mom, but then you’d always fight for her. You know how she is, she isn’t the one to wave a white flag or initiate a truce. It was always you. Until it wasn’t. Until you gave up.”

“Henry,” Emma said softly. “It takes two to make a relationship work. And you’ll see how much happier we are separate.”

“Are you? Happier?” Henry asked, his chin starting to wobble. Emma got up from her chair and went to put her arms around him.


	6. we could learn to walk around each other (is this falling?)

_“Regina!”_

_Regina’s head shot up from where she’d been hunched over her desk, working furiously away at reports that she’d wanted to send in yesterday._

_“Regina!”_

_The second shout was less frantic, more excited. Still, it didn’t prepare Regina for the whirlwind of blonde and fake leather that burst into the study immediately after._

_“Regina, you’ll never believe what happened!”_

_Regina couldn’t stop the corner of her mouth twitching, nor the amusement that graced her eyes._

_“What happened, dear?” Regina asked, in a low and entertained tone._

_“Henry said his first curse word!” The beginning of a smile froze in place on Regina’s face. Her reaction seemed to fuel her fiancée’s glee and Emma let out a small chuckle. “And guess which word it was! Asshole! He didn’t get that one from me, Regina. That’s all you!”_

_Regina schooled her expression into cool indifference._

_“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.” Regina said, picking her pen back up. Emma’s grin stretched into a full-blown smile as she looked at the work in front of her. Regina blinked. She’d been on her computer, there wasn’t a paper in sight._

_“Who is the one who comes home from work muttering under her breath about her asshole clients when you think Henry can’t hear you?” Emma beamed._

_“And who’s the one who curses like a sailor at full volume, regardless of whether our son is within earshot?” Regina challenged. “As if you police your swear words at all.”_

_Emma just shook her head._

_“I curse a lot, but I never use the word ‘asshole’. It’s,” Emma considered her next words carefully, a spark of triumph lighting up her eyes when she found the perfect one. “distasteful.”_

_Regina huffed. Emma walked around the desk and sat on the edge. She placed a finger underneath Regina’s chin and tilted it up. Regina closed her eyes and Emma laid a soft kiss on her lips._

_“I love that you’re a bad influence on our son.” Emma whispered._

_“Shut up.” Regina said, standing up from her chair and pulling Emma back toward her._

_***_

_Regina felt sunlight on her face, trickling in from the window they hadn’t installed blinds on yet. She turned away from the source, burying her face in the pillow, and felt hands on her waist pulling her back._

_“No, let me sleep.” Regina mumbled, swatting at the unwanted arms wrapping around her._

_“I know you’re awake, Mrs. Swan-Mills.” Emma nuzzled her nose into the curve of Regina’s neck. It tickled and Regina started to squirm._

_“Let me have this.” Regina protested weakly, her lips forming a small smile._

_Emma replaced her nose with her lips and Regina’s eyes snapped open. She rolled over and flipped them, suspending herself above Emma._

_“Good morning, Mrs. Swan-Mills.” Regina grinned wickedly. “Shall we christen the bedroom this morning?”_

_“Again?” Emma asked with a smirk. She ran her hands along Regina’s bare sides, eliciting goosebumps._

_“And again.” Regina answered before putting an end to the conversation with her mouth._

_***_

_Regina felt her shoulders slumping toward the ground in what her mother would call ‘an un-ladylike posture’. It had been a hard day. A hard week to end a hard month. She rarely let her cases affect her, refused to bring them home with her (aside from the reports she’d finish after dinner in her study). But this case had slipped past her wall when she’d been looking away at the testimonials in defense of her client. A client who was innocent, for once. A client she hadn’t been able to save from wrongful conviction. A client’s whose young children would be sent to live with their alcoholic uncle and wouldn’t remember their mother when she finished her sentence._

_Regina closed her eyes, sucked in a deep breath and prepared herself to return to her family for the night. She tried to shake the day off her shoulders, but it stayed firmly in place. Regina let out the breath in a sigh._

_She opened the door and was greeted with her son running at her and throwing himself at her thighs for a hug. She bent over to press a kiss to the top of his head and run her hand through his hair. He was in need of a haircut, she observed._

_“Mom!” Henry cried gleefully._

_“Henry was asking for you all day,” Emma said with a small smile. “He didn’t understand why you had to work on my birthday.” Emma let out a small chuckle._

_It was Emma’s birthday._

_Shit._

_“How was your day?”_

_Regina felt her back stiffen. She just shook her head and picked Henry up into her arms. He was getting big, nearly too heavy to hold comfortably._

_“Got it.” Emma answered. She backed out of the room and for a moment Regina felt a chill run over her skin, thinking she’d given the wrong impression. She put Henry down, getting ready to go after her._

_But Emma was back in an instant with a glass of red wine, passing it to Regina and taking her briefcase from the floor to her study with an empathetic smile._

_“I love you,” Regina called after her. She turned back to Henry. “And I love you. How was your day?”_

_“Good, mom and I went to the park and we read that book with the elephants and we, we watched the birds in the pond and they swam in circles but they didn’t get dizzy like I do when I spin!” Henry chattered off._

_“I want to hear all about it.” Regina said with a smile. Henry kept chattering away as they walked to the kitchen. Regina paused in the doorway, taking in the sight. There were flowers in a vase in the middle of the table and a bottle of red wine with an envelope resting against it. “What’s all this? Shouldn’t I have been the one picking up wine and flowers?”_

_Regina walked closer to the envelope and saw it was addressed to Emma. She picked it up and squinted down at the fine printed return address. She spun around to face Emma._

_“Is this…?” Regina let her question trail off._

_“I didn’t want to open it without you.” Emma answered softly._

_Regina turned it over in her hands and made to tear open the envelope. But Emma rushed over and stilled her hands._

_“Not yet.”_

_“Alright, dear.” Regina said. She put the envelope down and cradled Emma’s face in her hands. She drew their mouths together and brushed against soft lips._

_They had dinner from Emma’s favourite take-out place that she’d ordered in advance. Henry told Regina about his day and Emma laughed as she interjected with something adorable Henry had done that he didn’t deem memorable enough to recount._

_Regina looked at her family and felt her heart swell. As she took a sip of red wine, she wondered if it could get any better than this, right here right now._

_They put Henry to bed after dinner and then set up on the couch to open the letter. Emma had insisted on lighting her favourite scented candle and dimming the lights. “To set the mood,” she’d said. Regina had just rolled her eyes and grabbed the matches._

_“Are you ready?” Regina asked, facing Emma and placing a hand on her knee._

_“Yes.” Emma said, but she just stared at the envelope and made no move to open it. Regina gave her a moment. Which turned into two, and stretched into three._

_“For God’s sake,” Regina mumbled. She grabbed the envelope from Emma and ripped it open before she could protest._

_Regina unfolded the letter and gave it back to Emma without looking at it. Emma’s eyes frantically skimmed the page, until they stopped and stayed at the bottom. She didn’t move. She didn’t blink._

_“Emma?” Regina asked tentatively. She squeezed her thigh, which jolted Emma out of her daze._

_A slow smile broke out on her face._

_“I made it.” Emma whispered. “I was accepted into the academy.”_

_Regina gave her most radiant smile, tossing the letter onto the floor and closing the space between them. She felt their teeth bump together as they kissed with giant grins but neither cared. Regina peppered light kisses across Emma’s cheeks, jaw, forehead, nose._

_“I’m so proud of you.” Regina whispered. Emma giggled._

_“I’m so happy. This definitely makes up for you forgetting my birthday.” Emma mumbled between kisses._

_Regina pulled back sharply._

_“I didn’t forget!” Regina protested with reddening cheeks._

_“No?”_

_“I’ve had your present for weeks!” Regina said. “I just had to keep it at work because someone has a habit of finding her gifts and opening them early!” It was true, the wrapped box containing a weather-durable vest with more pockets than Emma would ever need was tucked in the bottom left drawer of her desk._

_“I’ll open it now then,” Emma said in challenge._

_“It’s, not here.” Regina said slowly._

_“Where is it, then? Did you leave it in your car? Couldn’t trust me to wait through dinner?” Emma said with the confidence of a woman who knows she’s right._

_“It’s at work,” Regina grudgingly admitted._

_“And why is that, dear?” Emma asked, not even bothering to hide her smirk_

_“Because I forgot it.” Regina mumbled, averting her eyes. Emma let out a chuckle and leaned forward to kiss her._

_“I don’t care if you forgot to bring it home.” Emma said against her lips. “I’m sure you’ll find another way to show me how special I am tonight.”_

_Emma pulled her up off the couch and up the stairs, her smile not faltering once on their way to bed._

***

Regina walked to the kitchenette and put on the coffee. She wasn’t among the first ones in this morning. The partners had called a meeting to announce their choice for named partner. So naturally, every overly ambitious lawyer at the firm was here at the break of dawn. That is to say, all of them. And yet, no one had thought to put on the coffee.

Regina waited next to the coffee machine as it brewed, finding herself without any reports or paperwork that needed work. She was prepped for her upcoming court session and anything else on her plate wasn’t worth starting in the twenty minutes before the meeting.

Julie appeared at her side, mirroring her stance leaning against the counter.

“Nervous?” The slight woman asked.

“When have you known me to be nervous?” Regina asked, crossing her arms.

“Fair point.” Julie admitted. “They’ve made up their minds at this point, there’s nothing to do about it now. No sense worrying.”

“They made their mind up months ago. They just liked lighting a flame beneath their employees and giving us the illusion of a chance to prove themselves. We prove ourselves every day. Mark my words, their minds were made up before Marvin formally retired.” Regina muttered.

“Ah, office politics. Gotta love it.” Julie sighed wistfully. The coffee machine chimed and Regina immediately poured herself her second cup of the day. As if summoned by the freshly brewed coffee, Kristen walked into the room. “Speaking of love…”

That earned Julie a discreet elbow to the ribs. Julie exhaled sharply and covered her giggle. 

“Good morning, Regina.” Kristen greeted with a smile, oblivious to the scuffle. 

“Good morning, Kristen.” Regina said, her professional smile plastered on.

“Morning.” Julie chimed in, pouring her coffee.

“How was your night?” Kristen asked, grabbing a mug from the cupboard.

“Same old, you know.” Julie answered. “Thursday nights I volunteer at the humane society. So I was spending quality time with the animals there.”

“Do you have pets of your own?” Kristen asked. 

“Not anymore.” Julie said with a tight smile. She grabbed her mug and gave a nod as she left the kitchenette. 

“And how was your evening, Gina?” Kristen asked, taking her turn at the coffeepot. 

“Regina, please.” Kristen’s face fell slightly at the correction and her pale cheeks flushed pink. Regina smiled to take away some of the sting. “My evening was fine. It was my night with Henry, we had a nice dinner. I did some work while he did homework. Just the regular routine.”

“Sounds nice,” Kristen offered. She took a step closer and lightly touched Regina’s elbow with the tips of her fingers. Regina turned slightly to face the other woman, forcing her hand to fall. She smiled again.

“It was, dear. Now, shall we?” Regina offered, gesturing in the direction of the meeting room. Regina lead the way before Kristen had a chance to answer.

They took Regina’s preferred seats in the middle of the table as the office began filing in. The room buzzed as the usual pleasantries were exchanged. 

“Lisa, how are the kids?”

“Morning John, did you catch the game last night?”

“You know, I had a really nice time with you last week.” Kristen said quietly. Regina looked over and blinked, before regaining her professional composure.

“I enjoyed the evening as well,” Regina began.

“I was wondering if—“ Kristen said lightly.

“Alright everyone, let’s get started.” The room hushed. Regina looked away. Charles Friedman commanded the attention of the room; the ambitious lawyers were on the edge of their seat.

“The partners and I have been watching you work these past few weeks and we deliberated long and hard, considering which of you was best suited for the position of named partner. Let’s all give a round of applause to the newest partner…” Charles began.

***

Regina walked up to the soccer field, typing out an email on her smartphone. She had enough peripheral vision to avoid other parents as she made her way to her seat in the middle section of the bleachers. 

Some parents opened their mouths as if to start a conversation as she walked by, but she just smiled and nodded politely as she made no move to slow down. She took her seat and waved to Henry across the field, one hand still typing away on the phone.

Once the whistle signalled the start of the game, however, Regina put her phone away. She gave the players her undivided attention, cheered them on and congratulated them on good plays. 

It was into the last half when there was movement to her left. Regina didn’t turn her head, but she recognized the scent of citrus shampoo. She glanced toward the side, and saw blonde curls, a leather jacket (not the god-awful red one, at least). 

“Hey.” Emma said quietly. Regina just hummed in response, leaning forward to focus on the play at hand. “God, he’s getting good, isn’t he?”

“He is improving. He’s become more confident in his skills,” Regina agreed. “See how he’s getting open, losing the man who’s covering him? He used to let them guard him because he was nervous about receiving the pass. But look at him now.”

“He’s doing so much better than I was at his age,” Emma said, pride entwining with wistfulness in her voice. Regina looked over for the first time since Emma arrived.

“You played soccer?” Regina asked incredulously.

“God, no.” Emma snorted. “Not enough room in the State’s budget to be sending foster kids to soccer leagues. I just meant, in general. He’s a well-adjusted kid.”

“Has Henry stopped blaming you for our divorce, then?” Regina asked, lowering her voice. Emma’s lips pursed into a thin line.

“Henry and I had a chat. I don’t know that he has forgiven me yet, but he understands that us being apart means we can be happier. He just needs some time.” Emma said carefully.

Both women stared at their son, watching him rush down the field as his team regained possession. His teammate passed him the ball and he ran with it, managing to out-swerve his defensive guard and take a shot on net.

Emma and Regina shot up in their seats, giving a standing cheer along with the other parents in the bleachers when the soccer ball went into the net just out of the goalie’s reach. Emma reached over and squeezed Regina’s shoulder in excitement. Regina looked down at the contact before returning to watch Henry get mauled in a group hug by his teammates.

The cheers died down and parents took their seats.

“Hey, did you hear about that promotion you were up for?” Emma asked.

“They announced their pick for named partner today.” Regina answered. “They chose Robert Stevens.”

“I’m sorry Regina, that’s some tough luck.” Emma said. 

“Not luck, so much as nepotism.” Regina muttered. “They said they needed someone who’d been there longer than a year, who’d learned the ropes. As if Charles doesn’t go golfing with Robert Sr. on weekends.”

“Office politics then.” Emma commented. “I suppose it’s preparation for your political aspirations.”

“I suppose.” Regina said. There were two minutes left on the clock and some of the conversations died down around them. It was a close game, tied three-three. Regina shifted toward the edge of her seat, leaning forward slightly as her eyes stayed glued to the ball. A young man on Henry’s team intercepted a pass from the other team. He shot, he scored. The crowd went wild, as if this were the World Cup and not a middle school’s soccer game.

The teams shook hands and parents started to clear out of the bleachers. Henry waved at his moms from across the field and motioned that he would go inside to change. Regina nodded with a smile. 

“So, any big plans for the weekend?” Emma asked. “Another date with Judge Judy?”

“Emma,” Regina warned. Emma raised her hands in front of her.

“You’re right, none of my business.” Emma said. Her shoulders fell slightly as the humour left her tone. She stared at the teams horsing around as they walked off the field and made their way to the changerooms.

“Emma, are you alright?” Regina asked softly.

“Yeah, I just,” Emma started to trail off. Regina quirked an eyebrow and Emma let out a sigh. “We just closed a hard case.”

“Did you, uh, would you like to talk about it?” Regina offered with a reassuring smile. “Henry won’t be ready for another ten minutes.”

“It was a double homicide,” Emma said after a brief hesitation. “Two women, met each other through their husbands. They began an affair. One was going to leave her husband. The other wouldn’t. In the end, she just couldn’t throw away the life she had on a what if, you know?”

Emma took in a shaky breath.

“Anyway, the husband whose wife had walked out, he killed them both. Got creative about it too. Poisoned their room service while he was clocked in at work with an air-tight alibi.” Emma finished.

“It’s hard sometimes, working in the justice system. Seeing the things we see.” Regina empathised.

“Yes.” Emma agreed, staring beyond the field.

At that moment, Henry came running toward them from the school, all grass stains and smiles.

“Did you see the goal I scored?” He asked excitedly, nearly jumping right out of his shoes.

“Yes I did, dear.” Regina answered with a broad grin. “You played so well today. I’m so proud of you.”

“Yeah, kid.” Emma chimed in. “That was awesome.”

“Awesome enough for ice cream before dinner?” Henry asked hopefully. Regina put a finger to her chin, making a show of mulling it over.

“I suppose we can celebrate your goal with some ice cream,” Regina acquiesced. “As long as it doesn’t ruin your appetite for dinner. We’re having fajitas.”

“Lucky you!” Emma exclaimed. She ruffled the hair on his head, which Henry quickly flattened when she pulled her hand away. “Okay, kid. I’ll see you Monday.” 

Emma turned around and began to walk away.

“Emma, wait.” Regina called. Emma stopped and turned back. “Why don’t you join us?”

A glowing smile spread across Emma’s features. She gave a quick nod and walked back over.

“I’d love that.”


	7. it feels different now (our false start felt right at the time)

_Emma’s vision began to blur as she tossed a tennis ball to Henry and he caught it. She used to dream of having someone to play catch with her as a kid._

_Henry tossed it back and it went wide. Emma reached to catch it before it hit the picture frames on the end table, earning a disapproving glare from Regina._

_“Oh, I’m gonna get you buddy!” Emma said with a smile. She put the ball on the table and started chasing Henry around the coffee table. Henry let out a delighted giggle and ran away as fast as he could._

_“You’re going to get him all riled up before bed,” Regina sighed. She crossed her arms in front of her and leaned back against the mantle of the fireplace. Emma caught up to Henry and picked him up._

_“Or, I’m going to tire him out right in time for bed.” Emma countered, spinning around with a delighted little boy in her arms. Regina laughed so softly, Emma nearly missed it. But as the elegant woman shook her head, Emma caught her eye and winked._

_“Okay buddy, let’s get you bathed and ready for bed.” Emma said to Henry. He reached over and patted her cheek with his hand. Emma grabbed it and held his small hand in her large one as they walked out of the room._

_Once they’d read the Velveteen Rabbit three times over, Henry finally quieted down and let his eyes close. Emma tucked the blanket up to his chin and slowly left the room. She made her way back to the living room, where Regina was sitting with a glass of red wine, an open file and her computer._

_“You really tired him out, huh?” Regina asked loftily. Her eyes didn’t stray from her work in front of her._

_“I don’t know what you mean,” Emma replied, feigning ignorance. “Henry fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.”_

_Regina snorted at that, and Emma chuckled along._

_“Right, and you were just watching him sleep for half an hour?” Regina teased._

_“You know I can’t resist how cute he looks when he’s sleeping.” Emma said, carrying the bit. She fell into the oversized couch and stretched out across its length. “He looks damn-near angelic.”_

_Regina didn’t answer and the sound of typing on a keyboard filled the air. Emma grabbed the book Regina had been reading for the past six months from the coffee table. Regina tried to read in her spare time, but she was always bringing cases home and having to stay up well past when Emma went to bed, so the bookmark stayed in place about halfway through the paperback._

_Emma flipped it open and began to read about Maya Angelou’s life and experience. She got about three pages in before she put the book down and turned on the television instead. There was a groan in protest from across the room and Emma turned the volume down accordingly._

_Halfway into a rerun of Friends, the typing on the computer stopped._

_“I think this was the right call.” Regina ventured. Emma muted the television and turned to face the other woman._

_“Hmm?” Emma prompted._

_“For you to move in here.” Regina said, though whether she was trying to convince Emma or herself was unclear._

_“Well, I didn’t exactly have anywhere else to go,” Emma said lightly. “You know, after getting out of prison.”_

_“Right,” Regina’s face clouded over whenever reference to Emma’s criminal past came up in conversation. Emma got up from the couch and walked over to Regina._

_“Hey,” Emma offered. She placed a hand on top of Regina’s stilled one that hovered over the computer keys. “I know this is unorthodox… all of it. But it’s what is best for Henry and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, we know we’re right.”_

_“I just…” Regina said hesitantly. She took a small breath in before continuing. “I guess I just know what my father would have said were he here.”_

_Emma waited patiently for her to continue._

_“Henry deserves a family, not cohabitation.”_

_Regina wouldn’t meet Emma’s eye. Emma gave a light squeeze of her hand._

***

Henry held Emma’s hand as he skipped down the street with his chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. Emma was more or less dragged behind him, trying not to spill her own chocolate cone. Regina was trailing behind them, laughing at the mess Emma had made on her face when trying to lick her ice cream while being pulled up and down by a victory-fueled Henry.

They had stopped at the quaint ice cream shop around the corner from their apartment building and indulged Henry as he tried five different flavours before settling on the one he always got. Emma had tried to persuade Regina that a post-soccer ice cream treat wasn’t the same without the whole family getting some. Regina put up a fuss, but eventually agreed to getting a kid-sized cup of the raspberry sorbet. 

It had been light, more than civil, and downright tender. It made Emma think maybe they could actually do this. This whole pleasantly divorced thing. That maybe what she’d told Henry about being happier separately would eventually become true. 

Emma wiped at her chin to get off some of the residue as they approached their apartment building. Her ice cream had melted all over her hand on their walk, and she suspected she was doing more harm than good at this point.

“You’ve just made a bigger mess, Ma.” Henry teased. 

“Fix it for me, kid?” Emma crouched down to be at his level and Henry used his own ice cream-soaked napkin to wipe at her face with a very serious expression. Emma couldn’t help but break into a grin at his determination, which elicited a scowl from Henry when she turned herself into a moving target. 

“Keep still.” Henry said. He gently patted at her cheek a couple more times before he pulled back, looking satisfied with his handiwork. Emma turned to Regina, who was staring fondly at them both.

“How do I look?” Emma asked with a cheeky smile.

“Like you got on the ice cream parlour’s bad side.” Regina replied. Emma just shrugged and led the way up the stairs.

“Saving some for later, then.” Emma muttered, which earned her a giggle from Henry. “Race you up to the apartment.”

Henry’s eyes lit up and they took off in a run. And made it approximately three steps before “You most certainly will not” rang out from behind them.

“Speed walking, then.” Emma whispered. Her and Henry started walking quickly up the stairs, careful not to have both feet off the ground at any given time and wiggling their hips in exaggerated motions side-to-side. Emma thought she heard a snort from behind them but couldn’t be sure; speed walking was no joke and she took their not-race very seriously. 

Henry beat her to the top of the stairs and Emma bent over, resting her hands on her knees and breathing heavily in feigned exertion.

“Okay, you win this one, kid.” Emma said in mock defeat. “But I’ll get you next time.”

“Sure you will,” Henry said. Emma made to wrap him in a bear hug, but Henry saw her coming and raced over to Regina’s apartment. 

“No video games before dinner!” Regina called after him. Henry just nodded and unlocked the door.

“See ya, Ma!” Henry said as he rushed into the apartment. 

“See ya, kid.” Emma chuckled to the closed door. She put her hands in her pockets and turned to face Regina. “Thanks for inviting me along. It was really nice.”

“It was, wasn’t it?” Regina echoed in a soft voice. 

“I, uh, I guess I’ll see you Monday.” Emma said, taking a couple steps toward her apartment door. Regina raised an eyebrow in askance. “Or, not. I guess I’m not exactly picking Henry up from your place. He’ll probably just walk on over.” 

Regina moved closer to where Emma was standing. Emma blinked, felt very conscious of the stain on her once-white tank top and the hairs that were falling haphazardly out of her messy bun. 

“You still have some…” Regina trailed off. She licked her thumb and took Emma’s face in both hands, holding it steady as she brushed her thumb across the corner of Emma’s mouth and it was so damn familial and caring and Emma couldn’t breathe. Regina used to do this all the time when they were married, a consequence of Emma’s inability to eat a meal without making an absolute mess but it had never felt like this. 

Emma blinked at her, and Regina paused, seemingly becoming aware of her own actions. Emma wondered if she could feel the way her pulse was fluttering or whether she could sense that Emma couldn’t remember what they’d been talking about before. Regina’s lips parted slightly and she glanced down at Emma’s before returning fast as lightning to Emma’s eyes. Brown eyes were wide, suddenly self-conscious. 

Regina dropped her hands and stepped back.

“There,” Regina said lowly. “Now you nearly resemble an adult, Miss Swan.”

Emma jumped slightly, jolted back to reality.

“Miss Swan? I haven’t been Miss Swan since…” Emma muttered, searching her mind for the memory that was trying to claw its way to the forefront.

“…since…”

“Since you were scared out of your mind, arrested for a crime you didn’t technically commit?” Regina supplied helpfully.

Emma crinkled her nose and frowned. It wasn’t what she’d been reaching for but…

“Yeah, I suppose it must have been.”

“Good evening, Emma.” Regina said. She turned her back and walked to her apartment as Emma fumbled for her keys. Emma spared one last look, watching the sway of her ex-wife’s hips as she walked into her apartment.

The hallway light outside her apartment door flickered and went out. Emma blinked up at in, unbelieving. Seriously, she was going to have to have a talk with the superintended about cheaping out on these lights. It was downright unsafe.

***

_Emma opened the door, checking her phone for the after-end-of-day email her boss had sent her, asking her to cover her coworkers opening shift on what would have been her day off. God, she hated working retail._

_“I’m home!” Emma called out as she typed a rushed reply and kicked off her shoes._

_“In the kitchen.” Regina called out, her voice wavering uncharacteristically. Emma went from stomping her feet to get out some of the excess rage in her system, to cautiously walking over to avoid adding fuel to whatever flame was alight here. When she entered, she saw the kitchen table had been set with a tablecloth she didn’t know they owned, with the plates and silverware Emma wasn’t normally allowed to touch._

_“What’s all this?” Emma asked, gesturing to the candles lit in the middle of the table and the scaled-up décor. Regina pressed her lips together slightly and then parted them slightly, her answer soon cut off by a timer ringing._

_“That’ll be the lasagna.” Regina said, her eyes returning from their vaguely deer-like state. Emma sat down at the table, in the spot she’d claimed shortly after moving in._

_“Lasagna?” Emma asked warily. “Now I know something is wrong.”_

_“No! Nothing’s wrong.” Regina tossed over her shoulder. She was taking the pan out of the oven and Emma peered over the island at the way her white blouse hung open where it had been unbuttoned lower than she would have worn it at the office. Bold move. Wearing white to a lasagne dinner._

_Emma hummed in response, expressing her doubt. Regina served the portions of lasagna on the not-fine-enough-for-Cora-Mills china, giving a generous helping of pasta to one plate and a smaller piece on the other._

_“Is there anything I can do?” Emma offered. “Should I go get Henry?”_

_“Henry is with Louise tonight,” Regina said casually. Louise was the babysitter who cared for Henry on days Emma had shifts during the week. Henry’s school started the kindergarteners on a half-day schedule that was unnecessarily confusing and wholly inconvenient for two working parents._

_“Um, why?” Emma asked. Since Emma had moved in over a year ago, never had Henry spent an evening with a babysitter or family member (granted Emma had none and Regina’s parents had passed away)._

_“I thought we could use an evening to ourselves” Regina answered cryptically as she sat down at the table. She took special care to lay the napkin across her lap._

_“Okay,” Emma said slowly. Regina began cutting a bite of her meal, and Emma took the cue to dig in. She clumsily used her fork to tear off a piece of the layered pasta and her eyes closed at the first taste. Emma let out a soft sigh involuntarily. At the sound of it, Emma’s eyes whipped open to see Regina staring, amused from across the table. Emma blushed._

_“So, um, how was your day?” Emma asked between mouthfuls. They filled space between them, that usually held a bouncing five year old, with small talk and pleasantries. They rarely talked about matters that didn’t have to do with parenting Henry or How was work today? They didn’t know how._

_“Emma,” Regina interjected after going through the motions. Her voice held a gravity that wasn’t befitting of the earlier discussion of the sporadic weather patterns in Boston. Emma paused mid-bite, meeting Regina’s gaze. “I wanted to discuss the possibility of dating.”_

_Emma felt a cold wave wash over her, chilling her skin and turning her insides to knots._

_“Uh, yeah, okay.” Emma managed to spit out. It had become harder and harder over the past year for Emma to see Regina as just a co-parent raising Henry. But she supposed this day was going to come eventually. “I guess that’s fair. Henry’s getting older, doesn’t need both of our attention 24/7, and I wouldn’t want to hold you back from—”_

_“Emma,” Regina said softly, placing her hand on top of Emma’s. They hadn’t done this before. They weren’t touchy people. It felt warm. Emma’s heartbeat sped up just a little. “I know our relationship has been a bit rocky. I know there wasn’t a lot of trust on either of our ends, going into this co-parenting arrangement. But despite our rough beginning, this—the three of us—has begun to feel like a family.”_

_Emma’s breath caught in her throat and she choked around it, trying to restore the flow of oxygen to her system._

_“I have always been…” Regina continued after a breath, searching for the right word as if she hadn’t rehearsed this moment over and over the way she prepared for her closing statements. “fond of you, Emma. From when you first sublet from my roommate in college, you held a spot in my heart you had no right taking. And when you stole my jewellery, when I found out it was just a con… Well I guess I’d told myself that you hadn’t hit quite as hard as you could have.”_

_Emma averted her gaze, a light flush of her cheeks betraying the guilt she felt at the choices she’d made as a desperate teenager caught between soft brown eyes and a hard place._

_“We’ve been living together, raising Henry together, for a year now and I’ve seen how you’ve blossomed into motherhood.” Regina said, giving a light squeeze of Emma’s hand. Emma could sense Regina wasn’t done, and she let her continue. “I am more than fond of you, dear. And I’d like to explore what’s between us. See if our relationship will blossom into something beautiful. I really think it could.”_

_Regina gave a radiant smile that nearly out-shone the vulnerability in her eyes. All of the pretty words that Regina had undoubtedly worked so hard on, and that smile was all Emma needed to dive in head first._

_Regina rose from her seat and rounded the table. She perched lightly on the edge beside Emma’s plate. Emma blinked up at her with wide green eyes. Regina’s entire expression softened and she tucked a loose, blonde curl behind Emma’s ear. Emma’s heart, that hadn’t quite calmed down from their previous touch, felt like it was going to fight its way out of her chest._

_“So, what do you say?” Regina whispered, her fingers coming to rest lightly against Emma’s jaw line. Goosebumps erupted along the line her fingers traced and Emma felt herself nodding without any conscious thought of her own. Regina gave another winning grin and closed the space between them._

_Emma nearly forgot how to breathe as the lips that had haunted her since she’d walked out on them seven years ago brushed softly against her own. Emma drew a plump lower lip close enough to taste. Regina tasted like tomato sauce, red wine, and home and Emma was lost but never felt more like she was exactly where she was meant to be._

_Regina was nothing if not a closer._

***

Emma stared at her beer that was well on its way to warm. It held no insights into the changing dynamic between her and Regina, and Emma felt her mind wander everywhere and nowhere at once.

“Swan.” Lara said in a tense voice that suggested this was not the first time she’d tried to get her attention. 

“Sorry, what?” Emma asked, feeling sheepish at having spaced out.

“We were talking about getting a dog.” Eileen filled in with an understanding smile. Which was ridiculous. Emma hadn’t mentioned what had been throwing her off and making her easily distracted, so there was no reason Eileen should be looking at her like she knew exactly what was on her mind.

“You two? Getting a dog?” Emma asked, skeptical.

“Yeah, what of it?” Lara challenged. 

“Won’t that throw a wrench in all your grand travelling plans?” Emma pointed out. Lara visibly deflated, accepting the point.

“Maybe,” Eileen said, pulling out her phone. She scrolled across the screen before turning it toward Emma. “But look at this lil’ guy’s face.”

It was cute. If you were into the whole, shaggy fur with literal puppy dog eyes and a tail that looked like it could wag a mile a minute.

“It’d be a big lifestyle change.” Emma said, ignoring the photo pushed in her face.

“Yeah, for sure.” Lara agreed. “It’s not something that would happen right away.”

Eileen gave a look that suggested that it might happen sooner than Lara thought.

“And we have to talk about it some more and what it means for us.” Lara said pointedly at her wife. 

Emma’s phone alerted her to an incoming message before she could respond. 

_Hey ma, mom has to stay late at work. Can you pick me up?_

“It’s the kid,” Emma said. She furrowed her brow. Normally Regina would give her a heads up if they had to swap pick-ups when something came up at work. “I gotta go pick him up, Regina got tied up.”

“Okay, see you.” Eileen chimed, shimmying closer to Lara to show her the puppy photos again.

Emma left her half-finished beer and some cash for her bill and rushed over to the school. When she arrived, she saw the front steps suspiciously absent of a twelve year old Henry. Emma narrowed her eyes, scanning the school yard.

“Emma?” 

Emma felt a sense of dread prickle at the edges of her skin. She turned around.

“The kid said you were working late and to come get him.” Emma said. Regina’s expression quickly became exasperated. “Clearly, he lied.”

“Clearly.” Regina said, drawing the word out.

“He gets that from you.” Emma said, trying to lighten the mood.

“Really? His other mother is a reformed con-woman and he gets his manipulative tendencies from me?” Regina countered, raising an eyebrow.

“Hey, is it not your job to bend the truth to your will?” Emma countered, starting to walk down the pathway. “And you do it well.” 

Regina huffed and Emma pulled out her phone. _You’re so grounded, kid._

 _Staying over at Ben’s tonight! You two have fun :)_ Was the reply.

“Yep, definitely your kid.” Emma muttered. Regina hurried to catch up and looked over her shoulder at her phone.

“What is it?” Regina asked as she peered at the screen, her breath grazing the side of Emma’s neck, sparking a shiver down Emma’s spine. “He is so grounded.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Emma agreed. They walked side by side toward their building, their hands brushing every now and again. Neither said a word. 

Their terse silence lasted until they reached their floor. It was thick and heavy, full of gears turning in their minds and unsaid thoughts.

“Uh, I think the kid wanted us to spend time together.” Emma said lamely as they stood at the top of the stairs, not yet parting ways. 

“I do not give in blindly to the whims of a twelve year old, dear, and I would suggest you not either.” Regina said coolly. She pulled the side of her bottom lip between her teeth, considering her next words carefully. “Though I suppose we should discuss why our son felt the need to parent-trap us in the first place?”

“You’ve seen Parent Trap?” Emma asked in surprise. Because that was what was important here. 

“Of course, I have. I wasn’t living under a rock.” Regina said as she opened the door to her apartment. She went in and stepped to the side, gesturing at Emma to follow. 

“No, just under a law textbook. Hayley Mills or Lindsay Lohan?” Emma asked, sitting down on the couch in the living room. It was one that had been moved from Boston, that used to be her go-to for before-dinner naps and late-night movies. It held many fond memories of eating take-out for dinner when Regina worked late, of stay-in date nights and Sunday morning cartoons.

Regina just ignored her, opting to get glasses of water from the kitchen before joining Emma on the couch.

“Now, do you want to enlighten me on why our son is scheming to get us back together?” Regina asked calmly.

“What makes you think I know any more than you do?” Emma asked, crossing her arms in front of her chest and ignoring the offered glass of water on the coffee table. 

“You’re the one, out of the two of us, that Henry has gone to with his concerns of our divorce.” Regina said tersely, a faint pang of hurt in her voice. 

“Are you jealous?” Emma asked incredulously. “That Henry and I have talked about our divorce because he’s been _blaming me_ for it?”

“You’re the one who has been jealous,” Regina countered. “that I’m dating again, which you have no right to be, and god knows what preposterous ideas you’ve been putting in Henry’s head about it when I’m not around.”

“I don’t believe this.” Emma muttered, shaking her head. “I haven’t said anything to Henry about your dating life. And I certainly haven’t encouraged his notions of us getting back together. I have made some inappropriate comments to you, I’ll give you that. But I have _never_ spoken ill of you to our son.”

“Okay.” Regina said after a pause, her shoulders sagging. She didn’t look defeated, just tired.

“It’s your prerogative to start dating when and who you like.” Emma said, the words tasting sour in her mouth but she knew they were true. “I know that, and I shouldn’t have implied otherwise.”

“I think,” Regina started, her tone unsure. Unsure of what she was saying, unsure of whether she was allowed to say it, Emma couldn’t tell. The words came out with eggshells that had already been cracked. “I think, perhaps, I wasn’t as ready as I thought I was.”

Emma tensed on her side of the couch. She felt like an intruder in this conversation. It was too raw and she shouldn’t be eavesdropping on this admission aimed her way.

“I think maybe I wasn’t ready at all.” Regina whispered. 

“You will be.” Emma choked out. “You can’t rush these things, but you’ll get there.”

“Will I?” Regina asked, her brown eyes open as Emma couldn’t remember them ever being. “Because I was out with an ambitious, smart, attractive woman and all I could think was she doesn’t know me like you do.”

Emma felt the urge to run. To bolt from the apartment and never look back. She felt an equally strong urge to pull this woman into her arms and never let her go. These conflicting desires, to get as far away and as close as possible, anchored her in place, still. 

“She said something on our date, well-meaning and innocent and I honestly don’t know what it was anymore but I criticized and insulted her for it. I couldn’t explain to her why I lash out on the defensive. I’ve never had to tell you. You just understand.” Regina reached out, her hand pressing down on the cushion halfway between them.

Emma crinkled her nose. Her hand twitched in place where it lay beside her leg. Four inches over and her pinky would line up with Regina’s.

“So, you’re saying you miss having someone who just takes your verbal beatings?” Emma asked slowly. “That’s not exactly romantic, Regina.”

“No, God no.” Regina protested. She ran her hand through her hair, messing it out of place. “No, I… This past year, you and I, we’ve found a way to talk to each other openly and honestly. In a way we never could while we were married. Everything turned into a screaming match. And I don’t want that. But now, only about half the things we disagree on devolve into yelling at one another.”

Emma felt the corner of her mouth twitching upwards. Regina wasn’t wrong. They’d somehow shifted from passionate with an underlying resentment to civil with an undercurrent of passion. But civility is what came with the divorced territory. That’s what happens when your partner discards you like a stretched out sweater than no longer fits: they’re no longer obligated to deal with your shit.

“Regina, that doesn’t mean anything…” Emma tried to explain, but it came out wrong, as words were want to do when left in her charge. 

“It means _everything_.” Regina breathed. She shifted closer, and slowly moved her hand from the couch to Emma’s thigh. Emma’s whole body warmed at her touch. “I’m not promising that it’ll work out. I’m not promising perfection or forever. But I think we owe it to ourselves to give us a shot, and not because it’s convenient or because it makes sense for Henry, but because we choose to.” 

Emma couldn’t respond. She felt a swell of emotion get caught in her throat and she tried to shake it loose. Regina’s eyes dimmed slightly, the hope fading but the determination remaining in full force.

“Emma, please,” Regina said. “Take another chance on me.”

Those words hit Emma like a knife, spurring her to close the distance between them. She placed her hands on either cheek none-too-gently and pulled red lips to meet pink. Regina let out a small gasp of surprise and Emma traced her tongue along parted lips. It felt like wet lips meeting the end of a battery. It could have been a jolt of electricity for all Emma knew; her brain must have short-circuited because Emma couldn’t remember it ever feeling like this before.

Regina reached for Emma, grasping the side of her neck, the edge of her shoulder. Emma moved a hand to trail down Regina’s side, settling at her waist and squeezing gently. As if cued, Regina rose up onto her knees and draped a leg across Emma’s lap, bringing them flush against each other. Emma brought her other hand to Regina’s back, holding her close as she pressed swift kisses along her jawline. 

Regina’s head tilted back slightly, her eyelids falling near shut. Emma trailed kisses down her neck, to her collar bone and her hands began to wander, finding the edge of Regina’s shirt.

“Emma,” Regina breathed. Emma’s fingers lightly traced the bare skin of Regina’s hips, pushing her shirt up slightly. Regina pulled back, placed her hands on top of Emma’s to still them. “Emma.” 

This time the word held a hint of warning, softened by the tender note in Regina’s tone. 

“Let’s slow down.” Regina suggested.

“It’s nothing we haven’t done before.” Emma said, but she removed her hands and placed them lightly on top of Regina’s pant-clad thighs. 

“It feels different now.” Regina started, tilted her head to the side in contemplation.

“I’ll say.” Emma agreed with a laugh. Regina smiled fondly and brushed the hair from Emma’s face. She cupped the back of Emma’s head, where head met neck and reunited their lips in a languid kiss. 

“I should go,” Regina said, pulling away once more. “Before I let myself forget why this shouldn’t get out of hand.”

“Or onto hand.” Emma muttered, cringing as she said it. Regina barked out a sharp, un-Regina-like laugh and immediately covered her mouth. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” Regina asked, dropping her hand to trail the backs of her fingers against the skin of Emma's neck. She started to climb off of Emma but Emma held her in place, pressing one more kiss to soft lips. 

“Breakfast.” Emma suggested against Regina’s mouth. Regina hummed and brought their lips together firmly. 

“Breakfast it is,” Regina agreed. This time Emma let her stand up and watched as she left the apartment. Emma absently brought her fingers up to her mouth, finding a dopey smile adorning her features.

***

_“Let’s all give a big congratulations to the graduating class. You’ve worked very hard all year, and we wish you the best of luck going into the first grade this fall.”_

_The audience erupted into applause, save for the straight-backed woman sitting to Emma’s right. Emma gently nudged her elbow into the brunette’s side._

_“Come on, clap.” Emma whispered. This earned a scowl from Regina. “It’s not every day your son graduates.”_

_“It’s from kindergarten!” Regina hissed. But she reluctantly put her hands together in a mockery of applause. “It’s giving him a medal just for showing up! It’s ridiculous.”_

_“Yes, yes it is.” Emma said. The little six year-olds began to walk across the stage, their teachers trying very hard to persuade them to walk in a straight-ish line. “And we are very proud of Henry.”_

_Henry walked across the stage and stopped to wave at them, holding up the line with a big grin on his face. Emma waved back and looked over at Regina. It may have been a ridiculous ceremony, but those beautiful brown eyes were watering as she smiled at her son._

_“Marry me.” Emma blurted out. Regina’s gaze cracked like a whip, eyes wide as they met Emma’s._

_“What did you just say?” Regina breathed. Emma reached out to caress Regina’s cheek and gently pull her closer. She placed a tender kiss on the slightly parted lips. Regina didn’t move, didn’t return the kiss. Emma pulled back._

_“You heard me.”_

_She blinked and let the tears fall. They trailed slowly down her cheeks, wetting Emma’s palm and tracing the edge of the smile split across her face._


	8. it’s not a choice at all

Regina took in a breath and pressed her lips together. She stared at the door to Emma’s apartment and let the breath out slowly. She straightened her shoulders and tried the doorknob. It was unlocked. Regina rolled her eyes and walked in.

“Mom! What are you doing here?” was Henry’s greeting from the kitchen. Regina took off her heels and smoothed her blazer as she walked into the kitchen. 

“I told you your mom was joining us for breakfast.” Emma said from where she was frying up eggs on the stove. She was still in her pyjama’s, faded blue and white striped pants held up by a drawstring and a stretched out cotton tee that was threatening to fall off one shoulder. Her hair had been swept up into a pile on top of her head, with several pieces jumping ship, escaping from the elastic band and falling down toward her shoulders. Emma jumped from the eggs to the pancakes she was simultaneously tending to. The image of her former-wife scatterbrained in the kitchen pulled on Regina’s heart strings. 

“Nuh-uh.” Henry protested.

“Yeah-huh.” Emma countered childishly.

“Have you had your coffee this morning?” Regina asked gently. She grabbed the kettle and started filling it with water. Emma stopped what she was doing and stood straighter for a few moments before answering.

“No, I don’t think I have.” Emma said, going right back to the breakfast she was preparing. Regina stepped in, took one of the spatulas from Emma’s hand and watched the pancakes. Emma flashed a small smile of relief in her direction and it made Regina feel more appreciated than if Emma had showered her with a thousand thank yous. 

“There you go then,” Regina said, remembering the conversation at hand. “You probably forgot to tell Henry I was coming over.”

Henry looked smug from where he perched on the stool on the other side of the island. He went back to reading the comics in the morning paper as the kettle started whistling. Regina took the pancakes off the heat and began fixing two cups of coffee. 

A few minutes and some slightly overdone scrambled eggs later, and the three of them were sitting around the dining table, eating breakfast together pleasantly. Regina smiled at the scene. It was so very domestic and she had to admit this was far more enjoyable than throwing the kitchen sink at each other. They were only a few bites in when there was a knock at the door.

“Another surprise guest?” Henry asked. Regina and Henry both looked at Emma who just shrugged.

“I’m not expecting anyone.” Emma said. She put her fork down and went to open the door.

“Are you feeling ready for your English test?” Regina asked Henry.

“Yeah, I guess.” Henry said, pushing some eggs around his plate. Regina raised an eyebrow at him and he sighed. “I mean, it’s not like you can really study for it. It’s reading comprehension. They give you the passage and you answer questions on it.”

“So you’re not nervous.” Regina probed. Henry bit his lip, looking so much like his mother when she was caught in the wrong. 

“Maybe a little.” Henry said. There was a sound that jolted them from their conversation, a muted thump. Regina stood up from her chair and walked over to the entry way, nearly running into Emma on her way back to the table. 

“Who was it?” Henry asked. 

“No one. Someone must have left the door open downstairs.” Emma said, looking a little worse for wear. Regina reached out and squeezed Emma’s shoulder. 

“Are you okay?” Regina whispered. Emma just nodded.

“Alright, kid. Hurry up, you’re gonna be late for school.” Emma said, brushing past Regina and sitting down in her seat. “And I still have to get dressed.”

“I can walk with Henry.” Regina offered. “Give you more time to get ready.”

“You sure that won’t make you late?” Emma asked. Regina glanced at the clock. 8:00am. Regina shrugged. 

“I can go in a little later today,” Regina answered. “They won’t miss me.”

***

Regina stood outside the bar, checking her phone for an update from the babysitter who lived a couple floors above them. There was none, because her son was twelve and sending updates to his mother was no longer the expectation. But still, she checked.

Emma had suggested the venue. It was classier than the dives Regina knew she frequented with her cop buddies after work. Emma had also suggested they walk over together, but Regina had declined. She knew how to make an entrance and figured one was warranted for the evening. 

She’d put on the black dress she knew would make Emma do a doubletake every time. Paired with a deep red lipstick and some minimalist, silver accessories, she looked good. She walked in the bar with the confidence of a woman who knows why all eyes are on her. It didn’t take long before she found Emma sitting along the counter. Sure enough, Regina was greeted with elevator eyes and a slightly open pout. 

Emma hadn’t cleaned up badly herself, opting for a dark wash jean and a white button up with a skinny black tie. Her hair was drawn back into a pony tail and the effect was rather fetching. Regina felt her mouth go dry as her heart sped up.

“Hey.” Emma greeted, her voice a little rough. She cleared her throat and gave a smile.

“Hey yourself.” Regina answered, sliding onto the stool next to her. 

“You look…” Emma said, giving her another onceover. 

“You look…” Regina paused, dragging her gaze slowly over Emma’s figure with a smirk. “As well.”

“Well, shall we?” Emma gestured to the bartender. Regina nodded. “One dry martini and one Keith’s, please.”

The bartender nodded and went to fix the martini. Regina raised an eyebrow at Emma.

“That was rather presumptuous of you, don’t you think?” Regina challenged. Emma let out a soft chuckle.

“Was I wrong?” Emma answered.

“That’s beside the point.” Regina brushed off her retort. The bartender returned with their drinks and Regina pulled out a credit card before Emma could grab her wallet. Emma opened her mouth to protest but Regina waved her off. “First round’s on me.”

“Deal.” Emma acquiesced, as if she had equal input into this decision. She raised her beer and Regina met it with her own glass, careful not to spill. 

“Alright, Emma.” Regina said after the first sip, licking a drop of her drink from where it had escaped to her lower lip. Emma’s eyes followed. “Where have you brought me tonight? It doesn’t seem like your scene.”

“Uh, no.” Emma said. “I suppose not. Eileen recommended it.” Regina raised her eyebrows in askance. “Lara’s wife.”

Regina hummed and took another sip of her drink. They settled into comfortable small talk, not straying far from the safe subjects they used to stick to when dropping off Henry. Work, Henry’s school, the weather, all got checked off like a to-do list and they reached a weighted silence. The air between them was dead and it was no longer simple, no longer easy. 

“I, uh,” Emma said, shifting in her seat. “I need to use the washroom.” She jumped off her stool, and paused when she realized the space between them had decreased significantly. Regina wrapped her hand around Emma’s tie and tugged it gently, bringing the woman closer. 

“Hurry back, dear.” Regina whispered. Emma blinked and stumbled backward into the stool. She gave a rushed nod and then turned her back to head to the restrooms. Regina let out a low chuckle. 

She quickly scanned the bar, noting that it was fairly busy for a weekday evening. Mostly well-dressed pairs, seemingly on date nights. There was a small group of women in the corner who appeared to be on their way to tipsy, laughing loudly at something Regina was sure wasn’t nearly as entertaining as they were making it out to be. Regina kept scanning the room, noting a couple lone wolves who were eyeing the pack of women. In her mind, Regina bet that it would take three drinks before one of them racked up the nerve to go talk to them. As Regina finished her survey of the bar, she noticed a man with too much eyeliner (any was too much, in her opinion) had taken the seat on the other side of Emma’s. He was scruffy around the edges, in all-black everything and Regina sniffed in distaste. 

Regina took out her phone, checking that she had no new messages and dismissing notifications of emails. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a hand reaching too close to her. Her eyes snapped up and she caught Guyliner’s wrist where it hovered over Emma’s glass of beer, an empty vial in hand.

“And what the hell do you think you’re doing?” Regina barked. The man didn’t look nearly as frightened as he should have. He gave a sort of grimace and let his arm go limp. Regina squeezed tighter. “I asked you a question.”

“Aye,” the man said. “It’s not what you think.”

“What I think, is that you were trying to drug my wife’s drink.” Regina growled. The man’s eyes widened at that, but not in fear. A light hand came to rest on the arm that was still outstretched and cutting off circulation to the man’s wrist. Regina turned her head, seeing Emma had returned. 

“What’s going on here?” Emma asked in her beat-cop voice. It had been a while since Regina last heard that tone. Emma’s eyes widened in realization when they took in the man before them. “You. You’re stalking me and what? Drugging my drink?”

“Emma, it’s not what it looks like.” He protested.

“You know this man?” Regina asked, outraged that she was out of the loop. “What the hell is going on here?”

“Regina, I don’t know him.” Emma said in a calming voice. “This is the guy who showed up at my door this morning.”

“Emma, I know you. And I don’t know what you’re doing here with her but you know something’s not right. You can feel it.” The man interrupted. His plea became increasingly frantic. 

“Listen here, bud.” Emma said, facing the man. Regina rose to her feet and rolled her eyes. She grabbed the glass of beer and emptied its contents onto Guyliner’s face. 

“Stay the hell away from my family.” Regina said, her eyes flashing. She grabbed Emma’s wrist and dragged her out of the bar behind her. 

“Regina,” Emma said. “Regina! Slow down.” 

Regina spun around on her heel, her fire not having dulled in the cool night air. 

“No one threatens my wife’s safety.” Regina said, her grip on Emma’s wrist tightening to a near-painful pressure.

“Ex-wife,” Emma corrected. “Technically speaking.

“Semantics.” Regina said, dropping Emma’s wrist like it had burned her. Regina turned and began walking away before Emma could say another idiotic word. 

“Jesus, Regina…” Emma said. Regina slowed, allowed Emma to catch up and fall into step beside her.

“Let’s finish this date night at home,” Regina suggested, tension radiating off her in waves, before Emma could finish her sentence. Emma slipped her hand into Regina’s and the warmth of it travelled up Regina’s arm and down her spine. Comfortable in a way Regina couldn’t remember it being before. 

“Let’s.” Emma agreed with a soft smile.

***

Regina shuffled her papers into a clean line and placed them in her briefcase. She gave her desk a quick once over to ensure she hadn’t forgotten anything and then zipped up her briefcase. Of course, that was the moment Julie decided to enter her office unannounced. 

“Leaving so soon?” Julie asked when she saw Regina had packed up for the day.

“I was in early this morning, and everything that needed to get done today has been wrapped up.” Regina said defensively. “Plus, I’m picking up Henry from school today. And his writing club will be letting out soon.”

“Of course,” Julie nodded. “Can I just get your two cents on this before you leave? I had one of the recent grads draft this up today and I don’t trust it.”

Regina gave a terse nod and walked over to take a look at the file Julie was holding. She skimmed over the Times New Roman size 12 print quickly, humming lowly as she read. 

“They’ve cited the wrong case law. It was R. v. Turner, not R. v. Tanner that had the reduced sentencing on tax-evasion cases.” Regina muttered. Julie snapped her fingers. 

“I knew something was off. I’ll make sure the kid makes the change.” Julie said. She started walking out of Regina’s office, calling over her shoulder as she went. “Goodnight Reg.”

“I’ve told you not to call me that!” Regina called after her. She shook her head with a small smile before she left the office for the day.

Regina walked up to the school, noting that Henry wasn’t sitting on the steps in front like usual. He was off to the side, talking to someone.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.” Regina said. She whipped out her phone and typed out a quick Get here now and sent it off. After a moment, she added a quick Henry’s school. 

“First my wife, then my son?” Regina barked out. Guyliner nearly jumped out of his skin as he looked up to find Regina stalking across the grass toward them. Henry’s wide eyes blinked in confusion.

“Bollocks.” He muttered.

“Language.” Henry chastised. 

“Henry, come here.” Regina said, holding out her hand. Henry scurried over, taking his mother’s hand. “What the hell do you think you’re doing talking to my son!”

“I know you don’t remember me Regina, but you have to hear me out, love.” The man said, raising his hand… singular, in front of him.

“The only one of us that _has_ to do anything is you.” Regina spat. “Leave my family alone or so help me—” 

“I’m trying to help you, Regina.” The man looked exasperated, rubbing his jaw with his hand. “There are things you don’t remember and Emma’s family needs your help.”

“We’re Emma’s family and we’re just fine.” Regina countered. “Or at least we were until you started stalking us.”

“No, I’m not—” he began to protest.

“Next you’re going to say you didn’t try to,” Regina covered Henry’s ears with her hands. “roofie my wife!”

“What is a roof—a roofie?” The man’s eyes narrowed. At that moment, Emma arrived, out of breath from running.

“Jeez, this guy again?” Emma asked, her voice strained.

“What I put in her, in your drink wasn’t anything from this world, lass.” Guyliner said, turning to face Emma. Regina brought a hand to her forehead.

“He’s clearly not with it, Emma.” Regina declared. “I need to give Henry’s principal a talking to. Can you believe they let this man just come and harass our son on school property? Our son, Emma!”

“It wasn’t any of your drugs here,” Guyliner continued, as if he hadn’t been interrupted. He pulled out two more tiny flasks identical to the one he’d had last night. “It was a memory potion.”

“Emma, call the cops.” Regina ordered.

“I am the cops.” Emma said.

“The on-duty cops,” Regina said, exasperated. 

“You just need to remember.” The guy pleaded. “It’s not poison, it’ll just help you remember who you are. Look.” He opened the top of one vial and tipped the contents into his open mouth. “See? Not poison.”

“Mom, maybe he’s telling the truth.” Henry chimed in, still holding onto Regina’s arm.

“Henry, life isn’t a fairy tale.” Emma said, warily eyeing their stalker as she pulled her phone out and started to text her partner.

“Just take it and see,” Guyliner urged. He held the last vial in his outstretched hand. “You’ll see I’m not lying.”

“Oh for god’s sake.” Regina said, grabbing the bottle. She took a swig and the moment the liquid touched her tongue, it all came back. 

_I don’t want to marry the king, mother_ and _the Evil Queen could never find redemption_ and _you’re Henry’s birth mother?_

A lifetime of bad luck and worse karma. 

She looked at Emma and Henry, the best things in her life here and she was struck hard with _I don’t want to lose this_. They’d always been on borrowed time, she supposed. A borrowed Happy Ending for a temporarily light-hearted version of herself.

She met Hook’s knowing eyes and wanted to make him pay for all the pain he’d caused her. A current of 600K through her system and it didn’t even come close to the devastation she felt now.

She looked at Henry, his brown eyes wide and she knew what he’d say.

A hero would go back.

“Regina?”


	9. this is what you wanted for us?

“Regina, run me through this again.” Emma said, slightly out of breath as she hoisted heavy overnight bags (seriously, just how long were they going to be, well, wherever they were?) out of the trunk. “Why did your firm send you on a last minute conference in the middle of buttfuck nowhere? And why the hell did Henry and I have to come with you?”

“Call it family bonding, dear.” Regina said from the driver’s seat of the Mercedes, looking down at her phone. “There, I’ve sent you the address of where we’re staying. I’ll see you there after the conference registration and the keynotes address. Try Granny’s Diner for lunch, I’ve heard their grilled cheese is a bite of heaven.”

Regina shifted the car into drive and left the two of them on the curb as she drove away. 

“Regina, that’s not an answer!” Emma shouted after her, knowing Regina could still hear her. Emma’s shoulders slumped when the car showed no sign of braking and she looked down at Henry beside her.

“Mom doesn’t even like grilled cheese,” Henry grumbled.

“I know, kid.” Emma ruffled his hair gently. “Let’s you and I try it out and report back on the quality of toasted cheesy goodness your mother wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole.”

Emma looked back at where Regina had driven away and sighed. The past 24 hours had been a whirlwind of incomplete explanations and frenzied packing and _this is important to me, please just come_. It had started with Regina drinking that damned “not-drugged-potion” that could have been poison, for all they knew. Emma had felt the world slip from under her the moment Regina had actually raised the vial to her lips. Emma may have the reputation of recklessness in their relationship, but this took the fucking cake. Regina had fixed their scruffy-around-the-edges stalker with a glare and declared they were leaving.

Emma couldn’t breathe the whole way home. 

She kept waiting for Regina to keel over, had her phone glued to her hand in case she had to call an ambulance. Emma refused to go to her own apartment that night, despite Regina’s confident eye-roll and assurances that she was _just fine, dear_. Emma had hardly left her side as Regina went through the motions of making dinner, took over when Regina had been too distracted to tell the difference between the cumin and the cinnamon and nearly ruined the chicken.

_Regina, we have to get you checked out._

_He was nothing but a snake-oil peddler._

_Christ, Regina! Do you know what they put in snake-oil?_

Regina had quickly become annoyed with Emma dogging her every step and dinner had been sprinkled with conversation turned into sharp edges, culminating in Regina’s announcement of a last minute conference she couldn’t say no to, with instructions for Henry and Emma to pack their bags. Any attempt to drag out more information was dismissed with orders to get packing and _I’ll explain on the way over_. Which Regina didn’t.

And that was how Emma found herself in small town Maine on a Saturday afternoon, off to get a late lunch with her son while her ex-wife rushed off to some very important conference for very important lawyers.

A bell ringing shook Emma from her musings and she rushed to catch up to Henry, who was holding the diner door open for her. Henry chose a booth and smiled widely at their server when she came over. In that moment, he reminded Emma so much of his mother, in a way genetics couldn’t influence. The manners, the charm. Even their server seemed a little flustered by Henry’s forthright greeting.

They ordered more food than Regina would have let them, knowing they wouldn’t be able to finish it all. All of it fulfilled one of two requirements: too much grease or too much sugar. Or as Emma would call it, a well-rounded meal.

“So, what are your intentions with my mother?” 

Emma nearly choked on her water. Henry was sitting with his hands folded neatly atop the table and a poker face Emma could be objectively proud of. 

“Kid!” Emma exclaimed. “What are you talking about?”

“I have eyes, Ma.” Henry said simply. “And I saw you making them at Mom the whole car ride up.”

“I did not!” Emma protested, cursing the blush she felt creeping up her neck. 

“You looked downright dreamy, Ma.” Henry countered. “Well, dreamy and confused.”

“You and me both, kid.” Emma said. Henry rolled his eyes at her unfitting answer. Emma didn’t care that it didn’t make sense. Being here didn’t make sense. 

“Emma?” An unfamiliar voice pulled at her heartstrings and caused Emma to jump in her seat.

Emma turned her head to see a woman with a dark pixie cut, wide green eyes and a smile that overtook her features. Emma blinked and the woman’s smile fell faster than the laws of gravity could foresee. 

“Um, hi.” Emma greeted, her voice laced with confusion. “Have we met?”

“Oh, no. I suppose we haven’t…” The woman trailed off. She pressed her lips together tightly before seeming to put herself together again. “I’m Mary-Margaret. Forgive me, I’ve just heard about you from Regina.”

“How do you know my ex-wife?” Emma asked, shifting in her seat to fully face Mary-Margaret. Emma wouldn’t have guessed that Mary-Margaret’s complexion could grow paler, but the little colour that had adorned her cheeks flushed and the woman looked white as a sheet. 

“Your ex-wife.” She squeaked. Emma narrowed her eyes, growing suspicious.

“Yes. How do you know Regina?” Emma glanced over at Henry, who’d been observing the interaction quietly. He seemed just as confused as she was. 

“We met a long time ago. Old friends, you could say.” Mary-Margaret rattled off. “What brings you all into town? Regina didn’t say.”

“We’re here for mom’s conference.” Henry chimed in, dubbing Mary-Margaret trustworthy, apparently. Emma was still wary. “Want to join us for lunch?”

“Oh, I couldn’t possibly…” Mary-Margaret started, locking eyes with Emma, searching for something.

“Well you’re eating for two, but one of you isn’t going to be a good conversationalist just yet.” Henry said, gesturing toward the woman’s pregnant belly. Mary-Margaret rested both hands along the swell of her stomach and considered the offer.

“Well, if you don’t mind…” Mary-Margaret began, looking hopefully at Emma. “It would be nice to meet Regina’s, uh, family.”

“Is the father joining you for lunch?” Henry asked curiously, as he shuffled over in the booth to make room for their guest. The guest that was still making the hairs on the back of Emma’s neck scream something was off. There were too many strangers claiming to know her within two days for it to be a coincidence. Emma eyed Mary-Margaret carefully, saw the woman had plastered a tight smile over watery eyes and didn’t move to sit down.

“Henry,” Emma cautioned, recognizing her younger, pregnant self in the eyes of this woman, barely older than Emma was now. Emma kicked at her son’s shin under the table and Henry winced. His eyes widened and he furrowed his brow, not understanding what the silent admonishment was for.

“The father’s not in the picture.” Mary-Margaret supplied, her fragile smile threatening to break. 

“More food for us, then.” Emma chimed in and made room beside her. Mary-Margaret smiled and took the offered seat. Emma didn’t leave behind her skepticism, but with the woman seated beside her and not her son, Emma felt a little less on edge. Plus, she figured she could take a pregnant woman bursting at the seams if it came to a fight.

***

Emma looked down at her phone then up at the house she stood in front of and then back down at her phone, slack jawed and not believing that the addresses matched. Henry just shrugged beside her and pranced up the steps towards the potted plants to the side of the landing. He dug around between the lip of the pot and the soil and, sure enough, pulled out a key.

She was still shocked when Henry used said key to unlock the front door. Henry strutted inside, dropping his bag on the floor in the hallway and raced off to explore. Emma was keenly aware of the dirt clinging to the treads of her shoes. The inside was pristine, just as regal as its exterior. Every apartment Emma’s ever lived in could fit within the four walls of this mansion and still have room to grow. 

“C’mon, Ma! You’ve gotta see this!” Henry’s voice filtered down the stairs. Emma ventured into the front entrance and finally had the presence of mind to close her mouth, and the door behind her. 

Emma treaded lightly through the main floor, opting to leave her shoes at the door. The décor was sophisticated and impersonal. No photographs of the inhabitants were set out on the mantle of the fireplace, on the wall of the hallway, or on the bookshelves in the study. Emma made her way upstairs, bringing her bag and opening each door and peering in the rooms before she found the master bedroom. She hesitated only a moment before she walked in and put her bag down at the end of the bed. 

The door opened downstairs and Emma walked down to the front entrance. 

“Here, take these to the kitchen,” Regina said, handing Emma two grocery bags. Emma just stood there dumbly as Regina bent over to take off her high heels, one arm bracing herself against the wall for balance. 

“This is the Airbnb you booked, Regina? What the fuck?” Emma blurted out. Regina looked up, one leg still crossed over the other that was bent to balance her weight on one heel, and raised an eyebrow.

“It was available on short notice.” Regina said simply, reaching down to take off the other shoe. 

“This must be costing a month’s rent just for the weekend.” Emma muttered, turning and walking into the kitchen. Emma placed the bags on the counter and then blinked at the cupboards. She began emptying the contents of the bags onto the granite surface, unsure of where to put them. Regina entered behind her, stepping in to give the groceries homes. 

“How was your conference today?” Emma asked, watching the woman before her walk around the kitchen like she owned it, comfortable in a way Emma had only seen when they’d been living together, raising Henry. 

“It was fine.” Regina said curtly. “Same old, same old. Short day.” Emma hummed. She had finished emptying the bags onto the counter, being the least helpful while still being able to claim participation. She shrugged internally, figuring it was better than nothing, and hoisted herself onto the counter. She kicked her legs slightly and Regina clucked her tongue in disapproval. 

“We ran into your friend at the diner.” Emma said casually, watching Regina’s reaction studiously. 

“My friend?” Regina asked, her voice equally as casual but her jaw slightly more defined than usual.

“Mary-Margaret.” Emma added. Regina tossed her head back and let out a bark, her shoulders started to shake as laughter took hold of her body. Emma hadn’t seen Regina laugh like this in, well it felt like years, and Emma was missing the joke. “Said she was an old friend.”

“Did she?” Regina asked, amused. Her brief outburst had subsided as quickly as it had onset and she returned to putting the milk in the near-empty fridge.

“Yeah. She knew my name but got flustered when I mentioned we were married, you know, before.” Emma let the line out, hoping for a bite. Regina turned around with amusement written all over her face. 

“I may have left that part out, last time we spoke.” Regina muttered. 

“She have a problem with gay people?” Emma asked bluntly.

“It’s a small town, dear.” Regina said, fighting a smirk. “Probably just a lack of exposure. How would you like a glass of the best apple cider you’ve ever tasted?” Emma blinked, something she couldn’t quite grasp tugging at the back of her mind.

Regina walked by, headed toward a cabinet that presumably held glasses. Emma slid off the counter and followed behind, snaking her hands slowly around Regina’s waist as she raised a hand to reach a shelf taller than her. 

“Emma.” Regina whispered in a low voice. Her body tensed as Emma pressed her own against it. Emma ducked her head and pressed a light kiss to the patch of skin exposed by brown locks tucked behind Regina’s ear. Regina’s breath became shallow and Emma kissed her way to where neck met collarbone and let one hand settle on Regina’s hip while the other passed slowly over the ridged terrain of her ribcage. 

“Cider can wait.” Emma murmured. Regina’s hand caught her wrist, stopping it from reaching further along her chest. 

“Emma,” Regina repeated, firmly this time. Emma stopped her movements, moving to rest her chin on Regina’s shoulder and turning their embrace into a comfortable hug. “Why don’t you go get our son and let’s go enjoy the day. The backyard has a lovely patio and garden. I’ll get the refreshments.”

“Hey,” Emma said, gently turning Regina around to face her. She looked meaningfully into brown eyes. “Are we good?”

A thousand different emotions flickered across wide eyes. Regina bit her lower lip, looked down at Emma’s and took Emma’s face in her hands. She brought their lips together in a deliberate motion, kissed with an energy that threatened to burn them both out. Regina controlled the kiss, kept it from escalating but pushing deeper until Emma felt her in her soul. Her whole skin thrummed with energy looking for an outlet. Regina broke the connection as suddenly as she’d initiated it. 

“We’re good. I’ll meet you out back.” Regina smiled with a reluctance that looked like she was holding water in her hands. Emma ducked back in, placing a soft, short kiss on red lips before she left the room.

“Hey, kid!” Emma called as she walked up the stairs. She idly traced her thumb across the curve of her upper lip. Her fingertip felt rough compared with the lips that had been there moments ago. “Come downstairs. There’s this thing called sunlight and you could use some.”

Henry opened the door of a room decked out for a young boy, blue sheets and comic books and some dinosaur figurines atop a bookcase. 

He had a large book in his hands. Leather-bound with gold lettering. It looked older than he was, maybe older than Emma. Henry grumbled as he trudged down the stairs, half-formed complaints reaching Emma’s ears. She just chuckled and patted a hand on his back.

“Trust me kid, you’ll thank me one day.” 

The garden was beautiful, with purple flowers and green shrubs and a single apple tree that looked like it had seen rough times. Regina was stretched out on a lounger, beside a low table that held three sweating glasses—two ciders, one lemonade. Emma smiled. Beautiful.

Henry plopped down on the outdoor couch and Emma took the other lounger chair across from Regina. The sun was warm against her skin. Her heart was warm in her chest. 

Regina sat up and stared unblinking at the book in Henry’s hands as he opened it on his lap. She reached out and picked up a glass of cider.

“A toast,” Regina said, “to family.” Her smile was tense, as if stretched brittle over marble bones. She raised her glass and nodded at them to follow suit. 

Henry took the lemonade and Emma grabbed the cider. Three cups met in the middle, over top of the coffee table and the sound of glass clattering together joined the ambient noise of wind rustling bushes, distant birds chirping and insects buzzing. 

Henry and Regina took deep sips of their drinks and Emma cradled hers near her chest. Regina’s eyes darted between Henry and her, watching expectantly. Emma tilted her head at the curious attention. Regina nodded in her direction, looking down at the drink Emma had yet to try.

“Mom?” Henry asked in confusion. His eyes were wide, his book forgotten. He was staring at Regina like she held the answers to questions he didn’t know he had.

Emma’s nose crinkled as she brought the condensation-covered cup slowly to her lips and tasted the dry cider. 

Crisp, vibrant memories rained around Emma, suddenly and fitting into place as if they’d always been there. 

_You can still change your mind._

A baby given up for adoption.

Ten lonely years running from her past and her present. 

A knock on the door on her birthday.

_I’m Henry. I’m you’re son._

A curse.

A cure. 

“Emma?” Regina’s voice filtered through, soft and tentative. 

A woman she’d begrudgingly accepted as co-parent, whose past was too great to run from. 

Emma remembered it all. She blinked at her family. Pieced together with parts that didn’t quite fit. But Regina had made them fit, hadn’t she? Gifted false memories, happy memories, of rough edges sanded down until there was no resistance in fitting together.

“This is what you wanted for us?” Emma asked. It was heartbroken and accusing and strained and empty.

“Emma, it’s not—” Regina scampered to her feet, trying to reach for her. 

But Emma remembered the incoming curse and broken family that came of it. Two women who thought they’d had a love that died and didn’t know how to be in the same room as one another anymore. Two women with broken hearts and a son who didn’t understand why they couldn’t go back to the family _they’d never been to begin with_. They’d had to re-learn how to talk to each other, how to care for each other, how to co-exist with each other.

She remembered the price of the magic that saved her family and destroyed it in one fell swoop. She remembered a deflated smile and her mother carrying a child and _the father’s not in the picture_. Emma stood up abruptly, knocking her cup over and spilling the amber contents across the deep brown wooden boards and ran.

***

Emma stood in front of the loft, knocking loudly on the door. Mary-Margaret had never kept her door locked before. But here it was, deadbolted after a year of being gone. Emma no longer had the keys.

“Emma!” Mary-Margaret exclaimed as she opened the door. Her expression was cautious, unsure but optimistic.

“Mom.” Emma said, sounding like letting out a breath she hadn’t known she was holding. Snow’s face crumpled into a wet smile and Emma accepted her too-tight hug with open arms. “I missed you. I didn’t know it, but I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” Snow murmured into Emma’s shirt.

“What happened? How are you guys here?” Emma asked, pulling back.

“I don’t know.” Snow sighed. “No one knows. We just found ourselves back here one day, with a missing year.”

“If you don’t remember what happened in the Enchanted Forest, how do you know it’s been a year?” Emma asked, her brow furrowing. Snow just looked down at her stomach protruding with new life, tears no longer content to merely threaten to fall from her eyes. “Snow, what did you mean when you said the father’s not in the picture.”

“The price of the curse.” Snow said, followed by a slight hiccup. “I don’t know what happened in the Enchanted Forest but I know I gave him up when you left for New York. And no one has seen you father since we got back.”

Emma caught herself before her jaw dropped. She drew Snow into a hug this time as she started sobbing. “What did I do?” Snow repeated over and over as her shoulders shook.

“We’ll figure it out.” Emma said quietly. Hurried steps rang out against the stairwell. They stepped back from their hug and looked at who was joining them. 

“Aye, look who we found roaming around the toll bridge.” Hook said, tall, dark and handsy. Emma remembered a year of unsubtle flirting. Of declarations of interest and growing accustomed to being pursued.

“David!” 

“Snow!” 

Relief washed over the hallway like a physical force. Regina, Henry and Emma had returned from New York. The residents of Storybrooke had returned from the Enchanted Forest. And now Henry and Emma had their memories back. All was how it had been a year ago at the town line. There was no price left to be paid.

Well, it wasn’t exactly the same. And prices came in many forms.

“I told you, we’d always find each other.”

“You did. We did.” David said, bringing her into a tight hug.

She looked at David and Snow, at the child that would come between them, origin unknown. She looked at a pirate whose jagged edges might possibly complete her, if she tried hard enough to let him. 

She wondered how she could possibly miss something she’d never even had.

***

Emma stood behind the kitchen counter, waiting for the tea to boil and watching her family (and Hook) settle into a pregnant silence in the living area. David and Snow sat shoulder to shoulder on the loveseat, spines straight and eyes watery. They hadn’t been able to pry themselves more than a few inches apart since their reunion an hour ago but their movements held a tentative edge that looked foreign in their skin. 

Snow White and Prince Charming, trying to hold back their love lest it break the eggshells beneath their feet. It was entirely disconcerting. Emma’s conflicted feelings about her reunited parents aside, they’d always worn their hearts on their sleeves and it seemed now they were wondering if it were too cold for such exposure.

Emma felt like she should say something, anything, to break this dead air. But the kettle whistled and she was grateful for the distraction. She focused on pouring the boiling water into the teapot when a knock rang out from the front door.

Snow and David both stood to answer the door but it opened and Henry walked in before either of them could take a step. 

“Hey, kid.” Emma said, surprise marring her words. She left the kitchen and walked up to greet him as Henry took off his coat and hung it up.

“I wanted to see Gram and Gramps. Mom dropped me off, she said she’d come pick me up in a couple hours.” Henry said with a small shrug at Emma’s questioning gaze. 

Snow and David wrapped Henry in a group hug and the twelve year old was obscured from view, fading into a mop of brown hair that was collecting Snow’s falling tears. Emma felt she was observing a private moment, and busied herself bringing teapot to the coffee table as whispered _I missed you_ ’s were exchanged. 

“The Charming family is reunited once more.” Hook said lowly into Emma’s ear. She jerked slightly at the proximity, spilling some hot tea on herself. Emma put the teapot down and began wiping at her now-damp jeans. “I missed you too, love.”

Hook tucked a piece of Emma’s hair behind her ear and Emma was overwhelmed with moments past that were and that weren’t; overt flirting and subtle seduction, a romance that made sense and a cautious interest that certainly did not. Pressure bubbled in her chest, overflowing with feelings that were hers and that weren’t; giving in and giving up, an obligation and a prescribed history. It was all too much to sort through to determine what was real, what was the truth.

“Tea?” Emma chimed, moving away to pour the tea. Hook let out a chuckle and Emma let out a sigh. Snow, David and Henry returned to the sofa and soon everyone was sitting, sipping their drinks and acting like one big happy family. Emma felt the room getting smaller with too many people sitting on too little seats. Hook was perched on the arm of her chair.

“Tell us about your time in New York.” Snow said with a pained smile. 

“It wasn’t a vacation…” Emma answered quietly. Snow and David blinked. Emma gave a small eye roll and leaned forward to rest her elbows on her knees. “It was fine. It was as if I’d never given Henry up. A regular sort of life, no magic, no problems, really.”

“Well that’s not true!” Henry chimed in. Emma shot a glare his way. “There was magic!”

“What New York were you living in, kid?” Emma snorted.

“The one where you kept messing with the electricity any time you got upset or like,” Henry scrunched up his nose, “had a strong emotion. Magic is emotion, right?”

Emma blinked and brought her mug to her lips.

“I had a lot of feelings,” Emma muttered. Henry chuckled. 

“I’ll bet, you were married to Regina there, right?” Hook said as if he were in on a joke. Emma didn’t know the punchline.

David’s eyes went wide, Snow’s crinkled.

“Divorced.” Henry supplied, unhelpfully. David and Snow looked at him, then back to Emma. David looked flustered, Snow looked like she’d fit the last piece in a jigsaw puzzle. 

“That must have been excruciating, love.” Hook sympathized. He placed his hook against her shoulder in a gesture that should have been comforting, probably. 

“It was something,” Emma said. She had another sip of her tea. It had gotten cold. Emma didn’t notice.


	10. can you breathe under the weight of these expectations?

Regina walked down the main street in a hurry. She’d gotten absorbed in the magic book she’d been reading, scanning desperately for anything that would help them with the new curse Storybrooke was stuck in, and was now uncharacteristically late to meet Henry for dinner.

Henry had stayed with Emma at the Charming loft. He’d been away from his grandparents for a year, it was natural that he missed them, was what Emma had whispered in her ear when he’d flashed wide brown eyes and asked to stay with them instead of her. Between those puppy-dog eyes his other mother had taught him in New York and the soft brush of Emma’s thumb against the back of her hand as she spoke reassuring words, Regina had felt helpless to protest. She’d already learned that holding on too tight was a sure-fire way to get Henry to push her away.

So there Regina was, meeting her son at Granny’s again as if she’d lost custody of her son the moment they crossed the town line. 

Regina reached the diner and walked up the path to the door. She quickly glanced in the window to check that her hair hadn’t gotten ruffled in her haste, but her eyes stared past her reflection, settling on golden locks and dark leather. Henry was inside, at a table facing the door, and sitting across from him was the back of a head Regina would recognize anywhere. And a leather-clad arm resting lazily across the back of Emma’s chair, with a hook at the end.

Regina’s insides jolted, feeling she’d walked blindly forward and missed a step on the stairs. Hook leaned toward Emma to say something in her ear and his nose bumped against her neck. Regina felt her cheeks blazing, her eyes began prickling and she couldn’t stand still anymore but she couldn’t bring herself to move. She held her jaw as she held her fists, clenched in a vice around something that was never hers to begin with. 

Henry’s eyes locked with hers through the glass and she saw them widen in shock, or perhaps guilt. 

Barely more than 24 hours back in the godforsaken town and Emma had already settled back into the life she’d left behind a year ago, complete with The Reformed Bad BoyTM and her once-forgotten habit of barging in on Regina’s scheduled time with her son. 

Regina turned on her heel before she went in there and did something she’d regret. Like pulling Hook out of his chair by the neck and forming a fist until every frantic heartbeat pulsed wildly between her fingers. Or taking Henry’s hand and vanishing in a cloud of smoke, to reappear at the town line and make a run for it back to New York. She made it to the end of the walkway before she ran into someone, not paying attention to her surroundings in the slightest.

“Oh I’m sorry, Regina. Regina?” Snow White’s voice grated like fingernails on a chalkboard and Regina felt her anger sharpen. She looked down at the woman’s expanded abdomen, saw a family she’d never fit into and raised her hands, thinking of home and being anywhere but here.

Regina closed her eyes and counted to five. Then to ten, when that didn’t work. It was some tactic that had been shoved down her throat when one of partners at the firm had thrown a chair through a glass wall and everyone got stuck in an anger management seminar that Friday. Regina grabbed a vase that was on a table near the entrance of her vault and threw it at the magic mirror she’d once heavily relied on, shattering them both. That felt better than any amount of counting could have. 

She left the shards where they landed, and stormed into the alcove that thrummed with the beating of hearts locked away. 

How could she have been so naïve? Regina paced back and forth in the smaller room, replaying memories at double speed in her mind. An affectionate smile. A hug from her son, soon joined by her wife. A tentative brushing of hands. A decisive brushing of lips. An evening spent surrounded by joy instead of loneliness. They all swirled together and Regina couldn’t even tell what was real, and what had just been wishful thinking before the end of a curse.

She’d gotten lazy during her time in New York. She’d forgotten herself, forgotten about vigilance and strength and protection because she’d never been able to count on anyone to do it for her (no one except…). She’d let herself do the one thing able to break through her carefully constructed walls and destroy her. Hope. 

And sure enough, it had gotten in, cracked the foundation and Regina hadn’t even noticed. Now Regina felt herself crumbling. Of course they were never going to be a family, not in that way Regina craved most. Regina would always be on the outside looking in, fighting tooth and nail against her own instincts to arrive at the door, just to have it shut in her face as she was relegated to the side to make way for the Charming clan. One day back and she’d already lost her hold. Henry would rather spend time with his relatives that weren’t tainted by an evil past. Who didn’t censor their thoughts to try to take back every inclination to lash out, to hurt, to destroy. And Emma would rather another not-quite-as-evil villain who hadn’t needed to work as hard to convince everyone he’d changed. 

Regina sank to her knees in front of the living wall and pressed her hand to her chest. Further. Further still. She winced. The pressure in her chest increased, soaring past uncomfortable into painful but the physical ache couldn’t compare to what she’d been feeling before. She brought her hand in front of her and the pressure dropped, her emotions pulled into the vacuum left behind and finally she could think clearly. 

Regina blinked away the tears that had built, letting them fall only to wipe them away with her free hand. Her eyes quickly dried. She stared at her heart. It looked different. Not at first glance. To the unobservant eye, it would appear as dark as the clouded night sky. But Regina looked down inquisitively, analytically, as if she were appraising an antiquity. Scattered among the deep red and darker black, were small specs of light. If she squinted, she could see faint stars punctuating the dark clouds. 

Regina reached for an empty box. It was best not to read into it. Not like it mattered anymore anyway. She placed the ornate box on the ground and held her heart reverently above it. 

“Mom!” 

Regina looked over her shoulder at Henry running down the stairs of her vault. He saw her on the floor and Regina heard the glass shards cracking beneath his shoes as he raced to her side. Henry sank to his knees and looked into her eyes with a wisdom beyond his years. Regina felt his warm hands around hers, cradling her heart. 

“Mom,” Henry said softly. “You aren’t alone here, not anymore.”

Regina felt her shoulders shake, her body caving in on itself in a parody of a sob.

“I just didn’t want to feel so…” Regina trailed off. 

“I know.” Henry said, looking far older than twelve. He guided her hands back towards her chest and she let him. She let her heart sink back into place, let the devastation settle around her once more. She did sob then, and she knew her cheeks were wet though she couldn’t feel them. She just kept shaking. Warm arms wrapped around her. 

“I know.” Henry repeated softly.

*** 

A fitful sleep awaited Regina that night. She tossed and turned in her bed that now seemed too soft in comparison to the one she’d left in New York. 

She regretted letting Henry seeing her like that. She regretted letting herself get to that point. 

Regina rose from her bed, giving up on trying to find an escape from the day. From the year. She grabbed her satin robe and pushed her arms through the sleeves. She didn’t wrap it around herself, instead letting it flutter against her nightgown. Down the stairs and into the kitchen, Regina quietly walked and put the kettle on. She made camomile tea, without any caffeine to encourage her insomnia. 

Regina shutout any musings of the day and just focused on a red cup, a tea bag and boiling water. She walked to her study and let the moon light the room. She gazed outside, seeing a still evening of shadows and absolution. 

A car’s headlights broke the illusion. Regina felt herself scowl. She walked over to the front hall and opened her door just as Emma was storming up her front steps. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, coming here in the middle of the night?” Regina barked in hushed tones. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, walking out on dinner with our son and leaving him to walk in on you a mess on your vault floor? Our son shouldn’t have to piece his mother back together.” Emma whispered tersely. Her eyes were shining with anger and her fists were shaking slightly at her sides. Regina’s eyes widened.

“What did Henry tell you?” Regina asked slowly. She didn’t move to open the door wider. 

“Enough.” Emma said. She stepped forward, ignoring Regina’s attempt to block her entry. Regina sighed and stepped aside. Emma stormed right to her study and sat down on the couch. Regina followed behind, rolling her eyes. “Start talking.”

“I have nothing to say to you.” Regina said defiantly, her temper stirring. She perched stiffly on the opposite end of the couch from Emma. 

“Well you’d better start talking, or—” Emma started, shaking her head.

“Or what? You’ll prevent Henry from seeing me?” Regina challenged. “Again?”

“Is that what this is about?” Emma asked, raising her voice. Emma spread her fingers across her thighs and sighed. “You thought because I was at the diner when you were meeting Henry that I was taking him from you?”

Regina didn’t say anything. She averted her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, hoping Emma would quit psycho-analysing her and return to her one-handed companion. 

“Jesus, Regina.” Emma exclaimed. Emma ran a hand through her curls, dishevelling the already messed hair. “Just how far did you have to jump to reach that conclusion?”

“I barely lifted a leg, dear.” Regina seethed. “What, we’re one day back in this godforsaken town and you’ve already packaged our time in New York into a neat little box and tossed it aside as you ran back into Hook’s arms? Really dear, if I’d known all it took to win your heart was some leering comments and the stamina to remain unforgotten, we’d have settled this a year ago. And to top it all off, you decide to encroach on my time with Henry as if you and your happy little family are more entitled to it than I am?”

“What are you talking about, Regina?” Emma asked, her eyes wide and lost.

“I’m talking about you, fitting back here like you’ve never left,” Regina spat. “And pushing me aside.”

“Regina, I didn’t push you aside…” Emma started. She reached out to place a hand on Regina’s thigh and the moment it made contact, Regina recoiled as if it had burned her.

“Save it, Miss Swan.” Regina said, her voice lowered from the near-shout it had reached. “Go be with your pirate, see if I care.”

Emma scoffed. “I don’t think you expect me to believe you don’t care, not after this.”

“Fine, it pisses me off!” Regina exclaimed, standing up from the couch. “It makes me so angry that this world has had its heart set on showing me time and time again that villains don’t get happy endings! That I’m fighting every god damned day to be better for—for Henry, and all Hook has to do is stop handing people off to be tortured and smile the right way and he’s instantly redeemed! Villains don’t get happy endings. I guess that’s why Hook had to go steal mine.”

Regina’s chest rose and fell, her cheeks pink with the exertion of her monologue. She’d been pacing, she realized. She stilled, and placed her arms straight at her sides, adjusting into a position that showed a little less of her hand. As if she hadn’t gone and thrown her cards down already.

“Your happy ending?” Emma said softly. She stood slowly, with a slight tilt to her head that likened her to a confused puppy. 

“Mine.” Regina said, barely above a whisper. “Clearly not yours.”

“What do you know about my happy ending?” Emma challenged, still taking cautious steps toward her.

“I know you’re the hero of this story, destined for everything you ever wanted.” Regina spat the words out like an insult. 

“And what if I want New York again?” Emma asked softly. She had her head tilted down and looked up at Regina through her lashes. 

“What could you possibly…” Regina breathed, not daring to finish her question, not sure she wanted to know the answer.

“That year may have been a little rocky but it was everything, Regina.” Emma said. “Everything I never thought to hope for.”

Emma stepped ever closer, and hesitantly took Regina’s hands in hers. “And now I’ve had a taste, I don’t know if I can go back. Regina, I’m not trying to start something with Hook. He just showed up at the diner, was saying hi to Henry. I don’t want him, I—”

“You don’t want me.” Regina breathed, shaking her head. 

“Don’t tell me what I want, Regina.” Emma countered, squeezing Regina’s hands in what surely was meant to be reassuring but felt like a noose. Unspoken promises of unbroken lovers. Expectations of a romance uncomplicated by ghosts from the past constricted around Regina and she thought, were she crushed by it, green orbs wouldn’t be the worst thing to last lay eyes on. 

“It wasn’t _real_ , Emma! You fell for an insecure, headstrong defense lawyer.” Regina said, pulling her hands back and her unrealistic dreams with it. “You don’t want the Evil Queen.”

“I _divorced_ an insecure, headstrong defense lawyer.” Emma said, standing still, not making any sudden movements. “I fell in love with you, a woman who’s been hurt over and over and still has so much love to give. A woman who’s quick to lash out on the defensive, and equally quick to tend to the wounds.”

Regina blinked.

Surely, that wasn’t true. Surely, it was a lie Emma told herself to be able to sleep at night without berating herself for getting romantically entwined with an Evil Queen who’d forgotten her past.

“I can’t be what you want.” Regina protested. “I can’t be this… perfectly normal woman in a perfectly normal relationship.”

“I’m not asking you to be,” Emma pleaded. “Haven’t you listened to a word I said? I love you. The way you are. Here. Now. Who you’ve become, who you’ve fought to be. Jesus, Regina just—”

Emma cut herself off, closing the space between them and wrapping Regina in a passionate embrace. Frustration and affection travelled from Emma’s lips to hers, tasting of bitter words thrown across the kitchen table and shared Merlot spilling on the counter and chocolate ice cream lingering on a soft cheek. Feelings she had no right to surrounded her from all sides, pressing in closer and closer and blocking out the air. Regina gasped and Emma misread it. Emma’s hands circled her waist, snaking between silk robe and satin nightgown, and travelled up her back as her tongue pressed gently into Regina’s mouth. Regina’s hands found purchase on Emma’s shoulders and pushed.

“I can’t…” Regina said, eyes wide. Recognition dawned in Emma’s, an understanding of the line she’d toed. Regina set her shoulders back, attempting to stand tall against the weight bearing down on her. “You can see yourself out.”

With that, Regina turned on her heel and left the room. She scampered up the stairs to her bedroom and locked the door for good measure. Regina pressed her back to the door and allowed herself to give into the pressure, to slide down and rest her head back. No noise emanated from below. Regina didn’t know how long Emma stayed there, but eventually she heard the shutting of the front door. Regina let out a breath she hadn’t known she was holding and rose from the floor to go through the motions of her nightly routine.

***

“Okay, so we know that we were gone for a year. And that another curse brought us back to Storybrooke without our memories.” David said to the small crowd with the authority of a king who’d left his jurisdiction behind and didn’t care. 

The merry gang of heroes were assembled in the diner, closed for business. The Charming clan, the Lucas duo, the seven dwarves, mother Superior and her inferior sidekicks, even Kathryn and Frederick had joined. And a few newcomers Regina didn’t recognize had joined the inner circle, bringing the “merry” with them. 

“Sounds like you don’t know anything.” Regina muttered. Wary looks were thrown in her direction but she didn’t care. Among them, one look was soft and it was the only one that reached her, causing a block in her throat and forcing Regina to bite back her next remark.

“Did you find anything in your books?” Emma asked, hopeful and reserved, arms crossed and her eyes told a story her body tried to mask.

“Hard to find something when you aren’t sure what you’re looking for.” Regina snapped. She took a step back and leaned against the table behind her. She had the attention of the room. She had their disappointment as well. 

“How do we even know someone cast a new curse? How do we know you even made it to the Enchanted Forest in the first place?” Emma spouted, the frustration leaking into her voice.

“Of course they made it to the Enchanted Forest, that’s how the magic worked to save everyone from Pan’s curse. Since we aren’t all captives at the whim of Lost Boys, I’m fairly confident in its success.” Regina said dryly.

“Aye, you did make it to the Enchanted Forest.” The pirate chimed in. The newest addition to the Charming clan Regina hadn’t been able to forget. Regardless of where Hook stood with Emma, the patriarch of the Charmings had seemed to take the newly-dubbed hero under his wing, much like an adopted mutt. 

“Wait, how do you know this?” Snow asked. 

“I was with you, at first.” Hook admitted. “Dry land didn’t suit me for long. Felt drawn to the sea.”

He looked meaningfully at Emma. The implication of not leaving behind his pirating ways without the prospect of winning her over was hardly subtext. Regina ground her teeth.

“Did you, do you…” Snow began, unsure how to ask her questions. Her hands gripped the sides of her stomach, shielding it from the answers to come.

“I’m afraid I don’t know much of your year, love.” Hook said apologetically. “All I know is that David was nowhere to be found when we arrived, and an Evil Witch had taken over Regina’s former domain. Before I left, David showed up, but he didn’t know you all and no one recognized him. Can’t say what happened after I left, love.”

Snow’s chin began to wobble and David wrapped his arms around her, murmuring something in her ear that could have been something as equally sickening as _maybe I found you_.

“An Evil Witch with a soft spot for winged monkeys.” A man with the beginnings of a scruff along his jawline chimed in. His hair was light and dusty. His eyes were at once untrusting and optimistic. He appeared to be the leader of the new additions.

“How would you know that?” Emma asked, her eyes narrowing in suspicion.

“We were in the land before the missing year.” He shrugged. “Kept mostly to ourselves but since the first curse we had to fight off many a flying predator that had never frequented our woods before. Must be the new Evil Witch’s henchmen of choice”

“Not evil.” Regina muttered, as she recognized the reputation. “Wicked.”

***

Regina watched as the collection of heroes disbanded after their mostly unproductive meeting. They’d established that the Wicked Witch had come from Oz to the Enchanted Forest and was very likely the one who’d cast the curse, but what she wanted with it and how to free themselves of it was anybody’s guess. 

She noticed Emma lingering as people slowly made their way out of the diner. Regina didn’t want to hear whatever Emma was gathering the courage to say. She walked to the washroom and faced herself in the mirror.

How had she gotten here? She used to be the Evil Queen, powerful and untouchable. And now she was a woman who hid in a bathroom at the back of a diner to escape a confrontation she would have conquered without hesitation before. 

She splashed water on her face and rubbed at her cheeks. She heard the door open behind her and cursed herself for not locking it.

“I don’t want to end up like those women in New York.” Emma said, her face determined behind Regina in the reflection of the mirror and her voice forceful as if Regina should know what the hell she was talking about. 

“Feel free to start making sense any day now, dear.” Regina said dryly, not turning around.

“I’ve been thinking about it since yesterday.” Emma continued. She stepped closer, close enough that Regina could feel warmth radiating off her body but not close enough to touch. Still, Regina felt it like a cage. “I don’t want to be those women from my case, found dead in the hotel room in New York.”

“I assure you, the chances of your lover being able to slip poison to me are very slim here.” Regina dismissed. “Or have you forgotten already what happened last time Hook tried to drug a drink near me?”

Emma blushed, but didn’t break eye contact.

“That’s not what I meant.” Emma said. “No, Regina, I meant the part where they threw away what they had together, too scared to take a chance on a _what if_. I don’t care that it’s uncertain. That it’ll be an uphill battle.”

“That’s an understatement.” Regina said, turning around to face Emma finally. “You and I together would be fighting against our very souls. You can’t just hide your head in the sand and forget who we are, Emma. We already know how you and I will end, we’ve seen it.” Regina shook her head slightly with the weight of an impossible situation.

“Bullshit.” Emma said, a fire sparking between them that made Regina look for the closest exit. Emma moved closer and Regina backed up, the counter hitting the small of her back. “We saw how you thought we would end. It wasn’t real, Regina. It wasn’t giving us a shot, it was writing a backstory that could make our reality make sense where you weren’t the Evil Queen and I wasn’t the Saviour. And it didn’t matter, did it? Because this thing between us still started. I’m tired of following what other people think I should be. It’s time for me to just start _being_.”

Emma bumped her nose against Regina’s, not closing the distance this time. Regina felt her eyelids flutter shut against her will. She let Emma’s scent surround her, let herself get caught up in rich honey, and cinnamon and citrus, and the possibility that maybe this time…

“Regina, I want to be with you.” Emma whispered against Regina’s lips, still a hairsbreadth away. “You asked me to give you a chance in New York and I was in, Regina. I was all in. I’m still in for this _what if_.”

Regina lifted her hands tentatively from her sides and forced her eyes open once more. She brought her fingertips to the sides of Emma’s neck, grazing lightly, the touch of a summer’s breeze. She dared not press further, remains skimming the surface along her jaw, reveling in the soft skin that welcomed her touch.

“Not a happy ending?” Regina whispered, hopeful. Emma just smiled, speaking volumes and Regina let herself believe that maybe this woman, who’d had her own happiness ripped from her until she’d been unable to believe in happily ever after without the prodding of a ten year old boy who believed it with all of his heart, maybe this woman could understand. 

Regina’s grip turned confident, no longer pandering at the edges. She pulled Emma toward her, bringing their lips together and it was a breath of fresh air. A weight lifted from her throat at Emma’s soft groan. Regina’s hands wandered, aching to feel every inch of the woman who was _real_ before her. The fire caught the end of a fuse and Regina pulled back, stopping it before it gained purchase into something neither of them would be able to control.

Emma pressed a succession of short, chaste kisses to her lips, to her cheeks, to her jaw, before letting the moment go and stepping back. Regina desperately wanted to hold onto this moment, to live in it forever and ignore whatever consequences would come of it. But she, too, let it end. 

Emma kept walking back until she reached the other side of the bathroom a couple feet away. Her breath was laboured, her cheeks pink and her smile wide. She reached out toward Regina, open handed.

“What do you say we go catch a wicked witch” Emma said, eyes warm as the hand she offered. Regina looked at it and all it held. Not a promise but the opportunity to try. Regina felt a familiar fear claw at her waist, her chest, her throat. One that once had her turning away from a tavern all those years ago. One that was reflected in Emma’s expression, and yet this woman—this infuriating, insufferable, inexplicable woman—reached out toward her anyway. Regina blinked and bit her lip and looked back at what could be her Happily Ever… something. 

Fingers entwined in a firm caress and Regina eyes crinkled as she stared at Emma who smiled like they could walk right past their history and move forward together.


End file.
